More than a Candy Cross

Had the best time last night with some ladies from our church fellowship. We all went to a local painting place and spent a couple of hours laughing, painting and just having a great time. I was able to spend some time getting to know a few new faces and enjoy conversation with a few familiar faces.

Isn't it just like God to allow things that we aren't expecting to happen to help us in some way? Shortly after arriving, I noticed a familiar face. One I had not seen in many years. One I had admired and cared about years ago. However, it wasn't a happy reunion. As a matter of fact, there were no words. My heart ached to speak but I remained silent. I didn't know what to say. The only thing that came to mind was "I'm sorry". Sorry for not being who I said I was. Sorry for not returning borrowed property. Sorry. And sorry wasn't even the depth of it. I was, am, more than just sorry. Broken over who I was. Broken. Though I wanted to weep, I smiled. Then I heard a voice, one I had not heard in years. One that brought back more fond memories. Still, it was one that I wasn't sure even really wanted to see me. However, it was good. Refreshing.

We painted a "Candy Cross". Full of color and fun. And all I could think of was there was nothing "candy" about the cross. It happened so that the person I was, I no longer had to be. I no longer had to hold on to my shame. I no longer had to hold on to regret. I am free. Do I want to experience the freedom the words "I forgive you" bring? Yes. More than I can even say. I know that I've been forgiven ultimately. Forgiveness that only my Lord and Savior can give.

I'm not perfect and I won't claim to be. I make mistakes. A LOT. I fail at things. I fail people. More than I want to think or admit. But this morning, I woke up to the sound of the rain outside. And there was a burden lifted. People may not like me, in fact they may despise me. I can't change their opinions of me. And I have to be okay with that. I can't refuse to build relationships, friendships, for fear of failure or negative opinions. Today, I know there is forgiveness. And I rejoice knowing that THE cross is more than just a "Candy Cross".