Stained

Most of my life has been spent in the same region of this beautiful United States. Hot summers and mild winters. Churches on every street corner. A place where we sip tea from Mason jars and "bless your heart" is always a proper response. It's just a hop, skip and a jump to the mountains or the beach. A place where strangers acknowledge you when they pass you on the road. It's the place I call home.

My parents built their house about 50 feet from my dad's parents' back porch. That red brick ranch style house still stands. My dad's brothers, well, they all lived within walking distance. And when my grandmother passed, that house, beautiful and old, they buried beneath the earth and made a circle drive. I spent the best years of my life playing too close to the creek, the one I tried to float my sister down in a cardboard box. Chicken houses and cane pole fishing. Many nights spent with Brandi and Mandy. Camping in the backyard and listening to NKOTB. The world was an adventure and who cares what I was wearing. Grass stained knees and dirty shoes. The occasional bug bite and scraped elbow. Life was mine to enjoy. To live to the fullest. I can't imagine it any other way.

Now, I have three little rug rats of my own. Bare feet in the green grass. Running around in the hot summer sun, red faced and sand speckled. Not a care in the world. A plastic pool filled with water and little boys fully clothed. Sitting a top that red lawn mower, going no where and everywhere at the same time. Nap time's refreshing gives way to flying tempers and unmeant words.





I sit and watch, listen and laugh. Never fully realizing that these memories are staining my heart and changing my perspective on things. On me. These children, heavenly gifts, are moving me past self and into the very heart of Almighty God. Opening my understanding of His goodness and grace. His design, as a parent, to hold on and let go at the same time. To watch us come with stained knees and hands. To gently lifting our chin, wiping away tears and removing the stains. But not the consequences. Watching us shine in the light of The Son. Knowing this is who we are and what we were made for. Drawing us ever closer to His heart.

So this summer, I'll step back a little more and wait. Watching the wonder in the eyes of my boys. Allowing them to be drawn in to the very heart of God. Right along with me...