Choosing Love - A Gift

I'm a grown woman. Thirty four years of walking this little corner of the world.  And I must say, I would never want to do it all over again. Never ever ever.  Not even an understatement. Like a mentioned in this post, I was a hopeless romantic. Hopeless. 

The first nearly twenty one years of my life was spent at the hands of my own preconceived ideas about who I was and what I needed.  Growing up in a somewhat small suburban community in what was once known as the "Bible belt" was not so bad.  The school I attended was average.  My grades were satisfactory.  My involvement in extracurricular activities was minimal.  My family was provided for by hardworking, still married parents.  We attended a small church where most people were family.  Life wasn't so bad.



I was liked by most people.  I stayed out of trouble and in the background mostly.  My family loved me.  Yet, I had an intense desire to be loved.  Loved for who I was.  School girl crush after school girl crush.  Nothing.  I felt a little like Violet from the Incredibles....invisible.  And then when I was noticed, I made poor choices for fear of losing love.

Until one day. Well into my college years, the guy I had been dating broke it off.  Feeling crushed, I didn't know what else to do so I began praying.  The Lord was faithful in showing me that I had to learn to love me.  The me that He had created me to be.  So what, I had made a list of expectations for my future man.  If I wasn't secure in who I was, it really wouldn't matter what I wanted in someone else. The truth of the matter is, if someone can talk you into doing or being something, then someone can talk you out of it.  Your actions prove your stability.  And stable I was most certainly not.

It came down to finding my identity in Christ, not in someone else's opinion of my worth.  It became about accepting Christ's free gift of love and choosing to live fully in that gift, day after day after day.  To accept who I had been and choose to no longer be that person.  A choice of no longer hiding in my shame, but allowing that shame to be removed by The One who loved me while I was still a sinner.  He knew me then and knows me now and loves me the same.  His love, Christ's love, is grace-filled and glorious.

God blessed me, truly blessed me, when He brought my husband into my life.  Not only was he what I had desired in my future mate, he was willing to take a backseat to my relationship with Christ.  And our relationship is wonderful and a work in progress.  Marriage, as with any human relationship, takes work.  The warm fuzzies last for a week or two, maybe a little longer, but if you don't know who you are you can't give fully to any relationship.  And trust me, if you don't love who you are, how can you expect someone else to love you and choose to remain in that love?


What or who are you listening to that is falsely describing who you are or should be? Are you willing to lay aside what everyone else wants for you so that you can follow Christ and what He wants for you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulF23jpFvyY