7,000

I've never been a numbers person. Ever. Like my whole life. They frustrate me. And that's exactly why I took a job at a bank shortly after receiving my bachelor of arts in communications. Though the job was better than I expected, the interaction with customers was definitely the highlight.

These hands have counted millions of dollars over a period of years. And these hands have also been through countless bottles of hand sanitizer. One thing I learned through my years in banking is that one truly is the loneliest number. (Thank you Three Dog Night for the use of your lyrics!)  To have one bill or coin left in a drawer is frustrating. Especially at the moment when you realize that you need multiple of that one item.  Though counting one is easier and less time consuming than counting multiples, it was never meant to be just one. Over the last few years, I've learned just how lonely it is to be one.



I am one woman. Some days I wonder if having multiple of me wouldn't be for the greater good of my family.  There is expectations and obligations that are solely on me. I am wife to Anthony and mom to our three boys.  That is four people who daily depend on me to provide for their needs.  Clean clothes, warm meals, sweet snuggles, homework helper, tidy house, spiritual role model. And that's just to name a few. My day is packed from sun up to sun down...and beyond, honestly. Since my obligations reach beyond my home, others depend on me as friend, teacher, leader, helper.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the roles that being just one is lonely and isolating. And I know I'm not the only one who has felt or will feel that way. There is an account of a man in the first book of Kings that has been a reminder to me of what my one feels like and the truth of God regarding it. Elijah, a prophet of Almighty God, zealously served the Lord, speaking truth and putting his life on the line to prove the Lord is the God of Israel. After the Lord showed Himself at Mount Carmel and the 450 prophets of Baal were slain, Elijah feared for his life and ran to Mount Sinai. It was there that Almighty God revealed to Elijah that he was, in fact, not alone. God had reserved from Himself 7,000 in Israel that had never served or worshipped Baal.

Over the last few days, weeks and months even, God has been faithful to show me that I, too, am not alone. Community is vital. He continues to amaze me with beautiful connections via social media and surprise me with new friends who live just a few miles down the road.  And while our journeys look different, we are all running the same race. Seeking the face of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  And in my Elijah moments, when I look at little ole lonely me, I can praise my Jesus for these women who are walking  running along side me.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

For when I need a whisper

Elijah traveled alone to Mount Sinai through the wilderness over a period of forty days and nights. Alone. Through the wilderness. On the verge of a breakdown.  He had already collapsed under a tree and begged God to let him die.  This man was tired, discouraged, fearful and possibly depressed.  And something tells me he was probably singing a line or two from Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk a...

You get the picture. He crashed in a cave upon his arrival and slept. (Had it been me, I'd of set up shop and planned to stay, well, forever.)  And then when he woke, the Lord said to Elijah,

What are you doing here, Elijah?

As if God didn't know why Elijah was there.  Elijah made his complaint before God.  Instead of just out right shaming Elijah, God tells him

Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

~ 1 Kings 19:11-13a

And then the Lord asks Elijah a second time

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Elijah again made his complaint before God.  In Naomi paraphrase, he said something like this, "God, I have served You, and You alone, with every fiber of my being to the point of laying my life on the line, and these people who are Yours by covenant have lost their minds, torn down Your altars and murdered every last one of Your prophets and they are desperately trying to kill me. And I'm all You got left in this crazy place."

And here I am.  A whole year later.  Faith tested.  Patience tried.  And I find myself in a similar circumstance as Elijah, minus the prophets of Baal and Asherah and Satan's sidekick Jezebel.  Having the assurance I am where I'm supposed to be.  Even when my head knowledge is ringing loud and clear, my heart sometimes wants to faint.  A firestorm of fear and discouragement, doubt and discontent.  I don't know if that is how Elijah felt, but I know that is what I have experienced and in some ways am experiencing.

Strength and courage come from the Lord.  What Elijah needed, He couldn't see.  What he knew, he needed to be reminded of.  Am I it, Lord?  Am I the only one?

Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.”

This week it was brought to my attention that I am not alone.  Though things do not always work like I plan, expect or hope, doesn't mean defeat.  Priscilla Shirer writes in The Resolution for Women, "A woman of contentment is aware of her needs and what God has already supplied to meet them."  Just because how He supplies isn't what I asked, doesn't mean His provision is not what I need.  What Elijah did not need was death. What Elijah needed was to know that God was still in control.  What Elijah needed was to know that he had fulfilled the purpose God had for him.  Elijah needed the encouragement that came from His creator.  Grace from his God.

Isn't that what we all need?  Grace.  As for me, grace is what I've been reminded of over the last week.  Circumstances are always changing.  People will at some point fail me.  Life is not always what I want or expect.  For all of this (& more) there's grace in Christ alone.

My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God's grace for you.  Stand firm in this grace.

~1 Peter 5:12b