People Matter

The words slipped out of my mouth before I even had time to think through what I was saying.

If we sponsored through them, we'd be pulling our sponsorship.

Just like that, my careless words hung in the air. And my head hit the pillow and fast asleep I fell. Never in a million years could I have foreseen what would happen next.

The next morning it felt like a tremendous elephant was in the room as I saw blogs and articles reporting the actions of this organization. My toes felt danced all over. And my words began to bubble in my soul. I began to boil furiously as I considered what I had said. Were the actions of this "Christian humanitarian" organization heinous enough for me to consider my donation before the life of a child, family and community in need? Sure I didn't agree with their decision.  However, there is a commitment to see the sponsorship through...to the end.

I have boiled over this for days. My thoughts feverishly trying to make sense of what I continue to hear over and over. As for me, I must hold to Biblical truth and stand for what has been ordained since the beginning. I am not condemning an organization, though I do not agree with their initial actions.

Here is where I take issue.

Evangelical church...what are we doing? We fuss over policy changes in an organization that helps lift people, image bearers of our God, out of poverty, yet do we consider how we spend our money? As I pictured our sponsored child's face in my head over and over, staring at his framed picture on my bookshelves, I had to ask myself,

Does my sponsorship matter if the things I'm spending my money on are going toward items made my children in forced labor?

For the one child my family sponsors - prays for, writes to, sends gifts on his behalf - am I the cause of multiple (hundreds of) children being forced to labor for wages that are not even life sustaining?  Or better yet, are they so young that they cannot even make the choice to work themselves?  These items, my shoes, my kids toys, the packaged food I purchase...am I throwing money at items for my convenience and never considering that the smallest image bearers are being trafficked in order to supply my demand?



I am furious! Church what have we become?  We fuss over policies and procedures of organizations yet our own lifestyles do not reflect Christ. From the message the Lord spoke through Jeremiah, his prophet:

This is what the Lord says: Be fair-minded and just. Do what is right! Help those who have been robbed; rescue them from their oppressors. Quit your evil deeds! Do not mistreat foreigners, orphans, and widows. Stop murdering the innocent! ~ Jeremiah 22:3

For the one child our family is able to sponsor, we are grateful.  But now it's time to turn our attention to the ones we are oppressing. It's time to END IT! We need to educate ourselves, families, friends, communities and put an end to this.  We need to live our lives by the two greatest commands given.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  ~ Matthew 22:37-29

Join me in educating ourselves on child labor and which companies go against the cause of Christ.  You can find more information here and here.

How are you in it to end it?  What resources have you utilized to make a difference for others?

7,000

I've never been a numbers person. Ever. Like my whole life. They frustrate me. And that's exactly why I took a job at a bank shortly after receiving my bachelor of arts in communications. Though the job was better than I expected, the interaction with customers was definitely the highlight.

These hands have counted millions of dollars over a period of years. And these hands have also been through countless bottles of hand sanitizer. One thing I learned through my years in banking is that one truly is the loneliest number. (Thank you Three Dog Night for the use of your lyrics!)  To have one bill or coin left in a drawer is frustrating. Especially at the moment when you realize that you need multiple of that one item.  Though counting one is easier and less time consuming than counting multiples, it was never meant to be just one. Over the last few years, I've learned just how lonely it is to be one.



I am one woman. Some days I wonder if having multiple of me wouldn't be for the greater good of my family.  There is expectations and obligations that are solely on me. I am wife to Anthony and mom to our three boys.  That is four people who daily depend on me to provide for their needs.  Clean clothes, warm meals, sweet snuggles, homework helper, tidy house, spiritual role model. And that's just to name a few. My day is packed from sun up to sun down...and beyond, honestly. Since my obligations reach beyond my home, others depend on me as friend, teacher, leader, helper.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the roles that being just one is lonely and isolating. And I know I'm not the only one who has felt or will feel that way. There is an account of a man in the first book of Kings that has been a reminder to me of what my one feels like and the truth of God regarding it. Elijah, a prophet of Almighty God, zealously served the Lord, speaking truth and putting his life on the line to prove the Lord is the God of Israel. After the Lord showed Himself at Mount Carmel and the 450 prophets of Baal were slain, Elijah feared for his life and ran to Mount Sinai. It was there that Almighty God revealed to Elijah that he was, in fact, not alone. God had reserved from Himself 7,000 in Israel that had never served or worshipped Baal.

Over the last few days, weeks and months even, God has been faithful to show me that I, too, am not alone. Community is vital. He continues to amaze me with beautiful connections via social media and surprise me with new friends who live just a few miles down the road.  And while our journeys look different, we are all running the same race. Seeking the face of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  And in my Elijah moments, when I look at little ole lonely me, I can praise my Jesus for these women who are walking  running along side me.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Her

Blue carpet lined the halls of Stringers. A stark contrast to the white washed walls. We walked past the parlors and up the steps, into a small kitchen area.  There he sat. His feet spread apart, elbows on his knees.  I didn't see my dad in a suit very often and saw tears in  his eyes even less.  But that day was unlike any before and any after.

She was gone. His mom, my Mamaw. And as a child, I didn't understand the depth of the pain he felt, still feels even now. My mom's dad carried me back out those big, glass doors. But in my mind and heart, I can replay that scene over and over, even though I was just a child.

Many years later, as I prepared for my wedding day, my mother offered a piece of advice that I wouldn't fully understand the impact of until years later.

Love his mother just like you love me.  It will mean more to him one day than you will ever know.

This woman loved her son, her family. Her brown eyes danced when she laughed.  And she hid years of hurt behind a silent smile. Her life held more than I could have even imagined. And as I came to know and love this woman over the years, my mother's words echoed in my heart.

Love her.

And I tried to love her, and I did love her. There is so much I see of her daily with us, like the looks I get from anyone of my three boys that have her facial expressions engraved in them.  Or the compassion she had for others.  I see it in the way my husband loves his family and thinks of others before himself.  It is manifest in our oldest son and in the way he longs to comfort and care for others.



Her love for Alabama football that was passed from mother to son.  And now has been passed from father to son. Oh the smile I can just see on her face if she could hear that little voice saying, "Roll Tide!"

She was driven.  Driven by the things and people she loved. Driven to love and give beyond herself. As I watch and converse with my sister-in-law, I see that determination as she strives to love her family and family of friends.  She's driven to succeed in school and make something of her life.



And this time three years ago, I saw a familiar scene in a whole new way. As that man in a suit, sitting in that kitchen grieving for his mother was my husband.  And I watched the way our boy loved his daddy so tenderly.  In my heart, I understand the words my mother spoke so many years before.

I love you, Glenda Stephens...and miss you more with each passing day.  Though you didn't give birth to me, you were my mom in so many ways. Thank you for loving me and for raising the wonderful man that is my husband.

Your grandsons are growing up so fast. We are doing our best to raise them to be godly young men. My hope is they turn out to be even half the man their dad is.  Til I see you again...Love you, Mom!

 

Hands and Feet

Everything is eerily quiet around the house. Light is pouring in from open windows and flickering candles. And my soul feels a little quieter, more at ease, than usual today.  I feel so often like I'm treading water to keep afloat through the everyday ins and outs. Between family, household responsibilities and outside obligations, I've often wondered what has happened to me.  I take on a lot more than I can carry sometimes. And my stress level tends to stay pretty high.

But today I prayed something I haven't prayed in a long time. And I heard that quiet whisper in my soul. The words I knew I needed, but often don't listen long enough, to hear.

I want to be Your hands and Your feet...but how? To whom?

To them.

I could hear the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. Laughter erupting and rushing down the hall toward me. Them. Three munchkins that run around here day after day.  Little lives that have yet to follow Christ. Personalities that are daily watching and acting what they see. And a man that needs to be reminded he's not in this alone.  One that needs to see the love of Christ being poured out in his home to his family and not just from him.

Today, less takes on a new meaning.  Instead of less clutter and stuff, it will look like less social media, less television time, less shuffling the kids off to play. Fewer outside obligations and responsibilities. It will begin to look like more stories and games, more playing cars and super heroes.  More purposeful interaction with my family. More of the love of Christ pouring out through me.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” ~Matthew 19:14 NLT

And the last thing I want to do is stop these children from coming to Jesus.

What does purposeful family interaction look like at your house? To whom are you seeking to be the hands and feet of Christ?

My 10 Things for 10 years

Gray skies covered North Alabama ten years ago today. It was a little dreary and cold.  But I could have cared less what the weather outside was like...I was about to marry the most wonderful man in the world.  Ten years, 3 kids and six cities later the weather is cold.  And I still don't care because I woke up next to the man of my dreams this morning.

In honor of ten years, here are ten things about this incredible man I love so much.

He is passionate. About Christ and the hope found only in Him. You hear it when he speaks. You can see it in his actions.  It is evident in the everyday ins and outs of life. This passion drives him.



 

 

 

 

He is a teacher.  More than just telling others about things, he wants them to learn and to know that they know for themselves.



 

 

 

 

He is adventurous. New places never bother him. He sees it as opportunity and looks for new things to see and do.



 

 

 

 

He is goofy. Never embarrassed easily, he loves to just be silly and goof off with the boys.



 

 

 

 

He is a learner.  After nearly 7 years of seminary and what seems like hundreds of books, he is always reading and learning.  Digging for knowledge and gleaning wisdom.



 

 

 

 

He is a fan. Of sports. All things University of Alabama.  Football and golf. We can even watch and play together.



 

 

 

 

He is a foodie. But only when it comes to the grill or sweets. He loves BBQ and Burgers. Chocolate Chip cookies and ice cream.



 

 

 

 

He is a friend. No matter the miles that separate, he will always call to check in with his friends, praying for them and laughing with them.



 

 

 

 

He is a father. Our boys know they can look to dad, talk to dad, wrestle with dad and just be in his presence. He gives them love and discipline, helping set the course for them.



 

 

 

 

He loves selflessly. Daily he helps with the boys, does household chores and makes sure that I have time to be in The Word. He wakes early and stays up late, making sure he is able to squeeze in all he needs to do for each day.



There are so many more details I could give but I'll just treasure those in my heart. I am beyond thankful for my man. And am looking forward to celebrating many more anniversaries together!

The Journey - A Gift

Abram's journey has to be one story in the Bible, though I was familiar with, never really sank in.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. ... So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed, and Lot went with him.

Genesis 12:1, 4

Leaving family, familiar territory.  Yeah, well, at one time I'd have said I know a thing or two about that.  I married a minister. Packing up and moving is nothing, and I repeat nothing, for us.  Not that I enjoy packing or moving, we've just been through it a few times.  Somewhere around seven moves in the last ten years.



However, in late 2010, my husband and I began to feel the Lord impressing upon us a change in ministry.  Our second son had just been born, and  we began praying and asking for clarity and wisdom.  We experienced God doing some amazing things during this time.  Our house that had been on the market for going on 3 years sold.  Many people began to ask Anthony about his goals in ministry and if he had ever considered other roles.  We also experienced a major surprise...baby number 3 was on the way.

In January of 2011, we experienced a heartbreaking loss, my husband's mother went to be with the Lord.  And by April, we knew that the Lord was moving us from our comfortable place of ministry.  In July, we celebrated the birth of our third son, and in August, we left full-time ministry for my husband to pursue full-time his seminary degree.  Waiting, all the while, for the Lord's direction on what was next.

Our family motto became the words of Hebrews 11:6.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

And that's what we did, trust Him, in full faith that He could and would provide for everything we need.  For nearly six months, we lived with my parents while Anthony worked as he could, not even part-time, and went to school full time, three and a half hours away. We prayed day in and day out for God's guidance.  And guide us He did.  A wonderful church ministered to us during our transition journey.  We are forever grateful for Hillcrest Baptist Church and the ministry they have in their community.  He then opened the door for us to serve New Life Fellowship, another body of believers we are forever grateful for and to.

With three boys ages 4 and under, at the time, this journey of faith was a big eye opener to me.  God can and will use me in whatever circumstances He allows in my life.   No matter how difficult or undesirable the situation.  His goal is for His glory to be made known.  And just as Abram waited and wandered until He was led to the God-promised land, I am thankful for a faith journey that has both mountains and valleys, places I've had the joy of sharing and those that are still awaiting me. Knowing all the while that wherever He leads, I will go.

Peanut - A Gift

I'm not one of those girls who had their wedding planned before Mr. Right showed up and swept them off their feet.  I was a hopeless romantic who dreamed of the day I'd meet that man of my list.  List, you ask.  The one I made that included all things I wanted, and all things I didn't, in my husband.  I never dreamed of what I'd name my children or how many I had to have.  Of course, I wanted all this.  To marry Mr. Right and have children.

And in January of 2006, Mr. Right and I found out we were expecting our first bundle of joy.  The best two year anniversary present this girl could have asked for.  We scheduled our doctor visit, saw that sweet little life that was forming in my womb.  We nicknamed him/her Peanut.  The heartbeat...incredible.  In March, after having been on a business trip for several days, I returned home.  We went to our scheduled doctor visit only to find that there was no heartbeat.  After 3 days of blood tests and ultrasounds, my worst nightmare was confirmed.  We lost our little Peanut.

Devastated.

The gift was not only in the little life that stopped forming in my womb.  For days, weeks even, women surrounded me with cards, hugs and prayers.  They reached out to share their stories of loss and grief.  These were testimonies to the grace of God, who both gives life and takes life away.



 A gift.

I never thought I'd be able to handle something like that.  Losing an unborn child.  The greatest gift I received in it all was in drawing near to The Giver of life.  He taught me to trust Him even when it was difficult and I didn't understand. To lean in to His heart when all seemed to fall apart around me.   He has taught me how to turn every blessing He has given back to praise...even the hard ones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giw2KfOZf0k

That 4 Letter Word

Tears left highways down that sweet face as her mascara ran.  And my heart feel into a thousand pieces, or more, as the words just wouldn't come.  Couldn't come.  How do you comfort a heart so young, so innocent?  Stories of young love and adult tragedies were a plague, removing the sacred.

Adults can make dumb decisions. Sometimes they choose themselves over their children.

It didn't make sense and it isn't right. But how do you do damage control?  How do you convince a young heart they are not at fault for their parents poor choices?



And in our world love is a four letter word that has little meaning and even less value.  It's an emotion in passing rather than an action in choosing. The words of Paul to the church at Corinth ring loud in my ears and heart.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV

Am I so naive as to believe that society around me is fine and not falling apart at the seams?  Families crumble. And we leave the children in the aftermath to fend for themselves.  Not fully understanding that this vicious circle of life keeps happening.  And what they see is what they do.  So, when will we step in and make a change?

When will love win?

Who's going to tell her that not every man leaves? Who's going to raise him to be a man, that makes good choices?  Who's going to show her that her worth doesn't come from someone else?  Who's going to teach him to lead by example?

Who's going to chose to love them?  Well, I am.  Will you?

Let's indoctrinate them with love! Love that is not self-seeking or self-serving. Love that reaches out beyond ourselves to embrace others where they are.  That offers hope and freedom.

This isn't something I'm great, or even good, at.  It is a discipline. It means going beyond me.  But, Lord Jesus, I'm ready.  Use me.  And remind me daily to love.

Stained

Most of my life has been spent in the same region of this beautiful United States. Hot summers and mild winters. Churches on every street corner. A place where we sip tea from Mason jars and "bless your heart" is always a proper response. It's just a hop, skip and a jump to the mountains or the beach. A place where strangers acknowledge you when they pass you on the road. It's the place I call home.

My parents built their house about 50 feet from my dad's parents' back porch. That red brick ranch style house still stands. My dad's brothers, well, they all lived within walking distance. And when my grandmother passed, that house, beautiful and old, they buried beneath the earth and made a circle drive. I spent the best years of my life playing too close to the creek, the one I tried to float my sister down in a cardboard box. Chicken houses and cane pole fishing. Many nights spent with Brandi and Mandy. Camping in the backyard and listening to NKOTB. The world was an adventure and who cares what I was wearing. Grass stained knees and dirty shoes. The occasional bug bite and scraped elbow. Life was mine to enjoy. To live to the fullest. I can't imagine it any other way.

Now, I have three little rug rats of my own. Bare feet in the green grass. Running around in the hot summer sun, red faced and sand speckled. Not a care in the world. A plastic pool filled with water and little boys fully clothed. Sitting a top that red lawn mower, going no where and everywhere at the same time. Nap time's refreshing gives way to flying tempers and unmeant words.





I sit and watch, listen and laugh. Never fully realizing that these memories are staining my heart and changing my perspective on things. On me. These children, heavenly gifts, are moving me past self and into the very heart of Almighty God. Opening my understanding of His goodness and grace. His design, as a parent, to hold on and let go at the same time. To watch us come with stained knees and hands. To gently lifting our chin, wiping away tears and removing the stains. But not the consequences. Watching us shine in the light of The Son. Knowing this is who we are and what we were made for. Drawing us ever closer to His heart.

So this summer, I'll step back a little more and wait. Watching the wonder in the eyes of my boys. Allowing them to be drawn in to the very heart of God. Right along with me...

Love is...

I'm having one of those days.  My fuse is short and my children seem to know this better than anyone.  I have no way of physical escape, such as a Hawaiian vacation or trip to Disney, in my near future.  In lieu of having a mommy meltdown, I've written out 1 Corinthians 13 and what, as a mom, it says to me.  Because sometimes I just need a perspective adjustment.

Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love gives second chances, and third and fourth.  Love speaks without yelling.  Love doesn't think about what it is doing without and harbor resentment, toward even the tiniest one.  Love doesn't pride itself in being right but is humbled because it knows who it has been. Love is a grace giver because it was a grace receiver.

 

rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ~1 Corinthians 13:5

Love doesn't put things like social media, television or conversation before the well being of others.  Love makes important people and things important.  Love doesn't keep tabs for future use.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:6

Love doesn't allow the unfair treatment of one child by another.  Nor does it allow the abuse of any child in form.  Love rejoices when children grasp the truth and hold on for dear life.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

Love is knowing and speaking truth over my children with throwing in the towel - no matter their age, maturity or circumstances.  Love carries us through each and every situation in life without fail.  God is love!

 

For My Valentine

A sunset.  Has to be my favorite piece of art ever created.  There are never two just alike and no one can come close to duplicating the artists original piece.  And, my life changed waiting on a sunset.

I'll never forget that hot July night.  We'd been in Panama City for a couple of days. Enjoying the sand and the waves. Eating some wonderful seafood. Taking in the sights.  Little did I know he was waiting on a sunset.  The weather had been less than perfect that week.  Cloudy at best, scattered showers.  So finally after days of waiting on perfection, he chose to take a leap.



That night we'd eaten dinner, gone to hear a little music and then went for a walk on the pier. It was late but that ring in his pocket must have been burning a hole because he just couldn't wait any longer. And even though he'll tell you he wished he would have gotten down on one knee, it was perfect.  There was no beautiful sunset, no perfect romantic place.  It was just him and me.  And a yes!

Anthony, after celebrating 9 wonderful years of marriage and the births of 3 handsome, fun boys, I realize that there may never be perfection.  But as long as I'm with you, that's right where I want to be.  Here's to many more years together.  And one day, we'll have that sunset!

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=91BF2MNU

 

Grace...for me

Awoke this morning to a throbbing pain running down my right arm.  For nearly four hours my baby lay on that arm resting after a crying fit in the night.  I stumbled into the kitchen to find my husband and older two boys looking frantically for Fireball the Elf who had hidden somewhere in plain view yet out of sight. Amid the morning chaos, there was still breakfast to be prepared and served, boys to be dressed and groomed, lunch to be packed for my husband and then, well, me.

I never pictured my life to look quite like this.  There are days I wonder what life would have been like if things had been different.  What if I hadn't married?  What if we had never been blessed with children of our own? What if I didn't even live in this country? What if, what if, what if?  Well, I know this much.  I can't live in the what if! I have to live fully right where I am, right now.  Happiness is circumstantial.  It comes and goes...sometimes day by day, sometimes moment by moment.  Joy is based on relationship.  Relationship with Christ...alone.  No other way, no other one.

Some days are like this:

Doors slam.

Boys scream.

The television blares way too loud.

And others go more like this:

The hugs flow freely. 

The boys share.

Music fills the house. 

Either way, I have a choice. One, a choice to live in the fleeting.  The what if moments.  The negative thoughts.  To choose self. Two, a choice to live in the joy.  To see the roses budding in early December.  To watch my boys grow in grace together.  To choose life...and really live!

Grace.  It was flowed unstoppable, uncontainable in my life.  It has taken joy in unlovely circumstances to make me realize this grace is for me.  Grace not to conceal. It is to cleanse.  Grace not from me.  It is to me, for me.  Grace not to cover. It is to calm all my fears. Grace that brings hope, brings joy in abundance.

Today I choose grace.  Life giving, soul cleansing, joy providing Grace. As a woman, a wife, a mother.  Grace that allows me to sow the seed of grace to those around me.  Will you accept grace today?  In the imperfect, fleeting, negative world we live in, choose grace!

Fences

A week out from Thanksgiving and we are slowly moving back into a routine. Three states in three days with three boys under the age of five is rough on a gal. Especially when the 2 year old prefers demands his own bed for hours on end between say midnight and 4 AM for two nights in a row.

We were blessed to be able to stay with family we haven't had much of a chance to see over the past 8 years. So it was wonderful to be around them, even for the few short hours we did have. We stayed the first night with my husband's aunt in Tennessee. I love his aunt and uncle! They have always made me feel like part of the family. Acceptance is a beautiful thing. This couple has the most incredible home. It's more than a house; it truly feels like being at home. The boys bounced off stairs, pulled numerous toys from their unknown habitat. They played inside and outside. We went to see the train and even found a playground. The boys played upstairs, downstairs and under everyone's feet.

For the first time, and I'm not exaggerating, I let them be kids at someone else's house. I was a little apprehensive at first but decided it would be best, for them and for me. And here are a few things I learned.

1. My boys need fences not leashes. They are children that need to be trained not animals that need to be broken. I must allow them freedom to explore, to roam, to learn. Freedom to find out who they are and what they can achieve.




2. My boys will be what I make or break them to be. I have the opportunity now to set my boys up for success or for failure. Not just in a future business sense. Now is when they will learn how to be the men they will become.

3. There is safety and solace in boundaries. By setting boundaries for them, I am allowing them to take the reigns from time to time. Giving them a safe place to learn and explore. Which also means that sometimes their decisions may not be the best ones. However, there are times that making bad decisions is punishment enough.

Thankful for family, faith and fences!

Joy, the gift of Giving

The holiday season is quickly approaching.  This has to be one of my favorite times of the year.  The music, smells and decorations make it all exciting.  People hurrying and scurrying in the stores to find just what they need to gather friends and family under one roof in joyous celebration.  Ah! I LOVE it!

I can hardly wait to put up the tinsel and lights.  To wrap gifts and sip hot cocoa with little melting marshmallows. My favorite part is not receiving but giving gifts.  More than anything, I want to give my boys the gift of giving - joy.  Sharing opportunities with them and giving them the chance to, well, give.



So today we, as a family, went shopping.  Now our oldest son, who is 5, enjoys buying spending money.  He is more likely to buy something just to have it than he is because he actually wants to play with it.  As we ate lunch we explained to our boys - 5, 2 &1 - that we were going shopping in order to share Christmas with children around the world.  We asked them what things they thought other boys and girls would like.  And we allowed them to pick out items to send.  We, as a family and faith family, are packing shoe boxes to send to Operation Christmas Child.  A program sponsored by Samaritan's Purse.  We came home and filled the clear plastic shoe boxes with all sorts of goodies for 3 precious children somewhere in the world.  The boys put Christmas stickers on the outside of the boxes.  And in the midst of it all, our 5 year old says, "Mom, I love happy endings at Christmas."

It never occurred to me how giving would impact our oldest son.  To see the joy that filled his face, knowing that he would not be keeping the items he had chosen but instead sending them to another little boy or girl to enjoy.  Priceless.  Tomorrow we are going to make a card for each of our boxes.  Sending part of us with them as they travel.  Praying that some child, somewhere is impacted by a stranger from half way around the world.

As I sang my middle son to sleep tonight, these words took on a whole new picture for me.

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
All are precious in his sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

This holiday season, won't you give to a child in need?  If you need some ideas, here are some great ones:

• Samaritan's Purse - give to Operation Christmas Child to help send these shoe boxes around the world!


• Compassion International - sponsorship is wonderful, I know from experience! You can also check out their gift catalog link in the top right hand side of their site.


• World Vision - another opportunity to sponsor a child in need.  Or just give a gift this season.


• Toys for Tots - donate monetarily or just give a toy


• Salvation Army Angel Tree - donate monetarily

You may already participate in some manner.  Thank you! However, if you've never experienced the joy of giving, I encourage you to do so this holiday season.

 

Dear Kaitlyn

Dear Kaitlyn,

I read your Facebook status early this morning.  You know, the one that said, "Pray for my generation."  And I felt a tug on my heart to respond with more than a Like.  After a profound day in American history, I hurt for you and your generation.  Here is my response.

To a generation that hangs in the balance:

I’ve seen your plea.  Heard your silent cry for prayer, for help.  Know your need to be - heard, difference makers, part of something great.  And I confess, with deep sorrow, the state of this nation, this people, that you are on the threshold of inheriting, is the result of a selfish, immoral generation.  My generation and those before me.  Generations that thrives on the material for the pleasure of self.

And I grieve.

My generation as a whole, we are not role models for generations to come.  And I humbly request your prayers, encouragement and accountability - for me and for my generation.  Challenge us to be...

• God seekers


• Difference makers


• Commitment keepers.

I want to be able to say to you, follow us as we follow Christ.  Seek those to pour into you the truths found only in the Word of God.  Call us to account for our words, our actions and our inaction.

As Paul exhorts Timothy, I also exhort you in these:

• Train yourselves to be godly, focus on the Scriptures (1 Timothy 4:7, 14)


• Don’t let anyone think less of you because of your age (1 Timothy 4:12)


• Be an example to all believers in the way you speak, live, love, conduct your life and live out your faith (1 Timothy 4:12)


• Encourage the believers (1 Timothy 4:13)


• Serve the body - use your gifts (1 Timothy 4:14)


• Stay true to what you know is right - for the salvation of your soul and the salvation of others (1 Timothy 4:16)

The responsibility you have is great, as my generation will entrust yours with the influence and instruction of our children.  However, the responsibility of my generation is no less great.  We are to lead your generation, and those to follow, in the ways of righteousness.  Forgive us where we have and will fail you.  “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” (Exodus 14:14)

My prayer for you is that your generation (& you specifically) will “Taste and see that the Lord is good” that you will find joy as you “take refuge in him!”  That as you “face many troubles” you will also be aware of how “the Lord comes to the rescue each time” understanding that “the Lord will redeem those who serve him”. (Scriptures found in Psalm 34)

Kaitlyn,  I look at you and your parents, and I’m thankful for the instruction and encouragement you receive.  Knowing that not all in your generation have what you do - both spiritually and/or emotionally.  May our Lord use you in a mighty way to influence others (of multiple generations) for Christ’s kingdom.

All the Married Ladies

It's that month.  You know the one where everyone on your Facebook and Twitter feeds are sharing their "30 Days of Thanksgiving". November.  The one month out of the year where nearly everyone can find something for which to be thankful.  As a matter of fact, I've been counting some blessings myself.

This morning was difficult to see thankful things.  Boys sick, not sleeping well and mom just not wanting to rise early.  So I spent some time in God's Word, the holy scriptures.  Reflecting on His promises.  And then on to breakfast. Words ringing in my head, echoing of conversations past and desiring to be truly thankful.  As I break open the eggs, my thoughts seem to focus on the things for which I've been less thankful.  He walks into the room preceded by our youngest child and I see thanks in a whole new light.



After nearly 9 years of marriage, how often have I expressed my specific thanks to and for my husband? This morning was less about me and more about us, as I chose to let go of my way and accept his help - help not asked for or offered, just given.  And I wondered, how often have I counted my blessings?  Blessings, gifts. Why am I thankful for him at all?  If I say I'm thankful for him, for our marriage, then my reasons are not all general but more specific.

• I'm thankful for his help with breakfast.


• I'm thankful for his not allowing the boys to speak to me in an improper tone.


• I'm thankful for the way he holds me close.


• I'm thankful for his spontaneous, fun personality.

And the list goes on and on and on.  What about you?  Are you thankful for your spouse? If so, in what ways?  Do you see the good in them and encourage them?  Can you find at least one thing to be thankful, truly thankful for in them daily?  I dare you.  I dare you to let go of selfishness, pride, bad advice, putting children ahead of your spouse and see the things, the gifts, given to you by your spouse.  Write them down, name them one by one.  One day, the children will grow up and move out, there will be changes in jobs and in the end it will just be the two of you.  Will you choose joy in your marriage - I dare you!

 

 

Roots

I hear the flip flop of his little feet behind me.  The gentle tone in his voice that says, "Mom, I follow you."  And I'm flooded with thoughts and unexpected fears.  The wild-eyed boy makes me wonder what he will be like as a man.  And I pray that his desire to follow me will be more than to the movie shelf.  That his following would be to the feet of Jesus.



As a mom I want to plant my children by the stream of Christ.  That the roots of his faith will be planted firm in the one who created him.  As the psalmist said:

¹ Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in with mockers.
² But they delight in the law of the Lord,
meditating on it day and night.
³ They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
    bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
    and they prosper in all they do. ~ Psalm 1:1-3

Today my prayer for those little hands and little feet is that the roots of faith would take hold in Christ alone where they would receive what they need for every season of life.

21 Day Challenge

Nearly nine years ago, I married the most incredible man I'd ever met.  He's fun, outgoing, smart, spontaneous...practically every thing I had on my future husband wish list.  Though our differences are numerous, there are several things we have in common - some good, some not so good.

One area, that I believe is safe to say, we have both struggled with is self-discipline in the area of healthy living.  This includes but is not limited to:

• Healthy food choices


• Regular exercise


• Teaching our boys the importance of maintaining good physical health

Just about a month ago, it was decided that we'd make some changes in the right direction.  We began by trying to incorporate more whole foods into our diet.  I think it's safe to say that we've done okay in that area.  Though our children are reluctant, they are slowly coming around.  However, I'm struggling still with the exercise portion of living healthy.  This was not something that was taught as a necessity to myself or my husband growing up.  So making time for it has been quite a challenge.  Not to mention we live in a rural community and have 3 boys under the age of 5.

I was so excited when I read on Erin's blog Home with the Boys about Crystal's, from Money Saving Mom, new ebook 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life. And I was even more excited to learn about the challenge that will begin tomorrow, November 1st!  One of the challenges in the book is to pick a mega project to work toward completing during the 21 day challenge.  And boy did I come up with a list of projects I could work on! Here are just a few of my mega project list for future months.

• Homeschool Curriculum - since it looks like that's the route we'll be taking, I need to start working on what next fall will look like for us.


• Make a Quilt - something I've been wanting to do for a while.


• Declutter my house - something I could put off indefinitely but really needs has to be done!


• Prayer book for my boys - a book for scriptures my boys can look at and we can pray together.

But my choice is obvious. Exercise will be my focus the next 21 days.  I'm not going to jump in and try to over do it - which I'm really good at.  However, I want to invite a family lifestyle that embraces exercise.  We, meaning I, will start small and work toward my goal progressively.  Since my college days, I've gained a good bit of weight and a lot of remorse over it.  I'm watching my children embrace an unhealthy lifestyle that I've promoted through my inaction. So here are a few of my goals for the beginning:

• Exercise for at least 15 minutes a day.


• Utilize my resources - walking track at the local park, Couch to 5K phone app, exercise videos, exercise games for the game systems, etc.


• Actually use the My Fitness Pal app on my smart phone to track my daily food and exercise goals (& put a badge on my blog - for accountability)

So, have a mega project you've been thinking about  putting off for a while? Buy the book here. And then join the challenge! Looking forward to beginning a new, healthy lifestyle over the next 21 days.  Will you join me?

 

 

For When Your Heart Breaks

The house was dark this morning.  Six fifteen was earlier than I had wanted to rise but the baby whined and wanted his pacy.  So I rolled out of bed, turning the baby monitor down so that only the neon green light flashed but no sound was heard.  Silently walked to the kitchen as dawn was breaking.  Little by little light began to flood through the windows and I reached over to turn on the coffee pot.  As I looked up and out the window that's directly above the kitchen sink, to my early morning surprise was a momma cow and her newborn baby calf.  Not that it is unusual to see cows and calves in the pasture around our house.  But I haven't seen a newborn calf that close to the fence since we've lived here.  As I watched out the window, the newborn calf tried desperately to stand on its wobbly little legs.  Taking a step here and there, it plopped to the ground again.  And I was ecstatic to show the boys this precious sight as they each rose and came sleepy eyed into the kitchen.

I was no less excited when we returned home from church this afternoon to find another calf was being delivered.  But something wasn't right.  The momma cow had been in hard labor for hours, not unusual, but her water had not broke.  The farmer came over to check her and had to deliver the stillborn calf almost losing the momma in the process.  It was like a train wreck and I was heartbroken over a baby calf.  I could not move my bare feet off the lawn and back into the house for nothing.

Now, I've given birth three times.  Beautiful, healthy babies.  And I know, very well, the pain involved.  Unlike some, I decided I'd just rather not have an epidural.  With each child the pain was different but no less intense.  With each child I've had the joy and privilege of bringing them home from the hospital, spending sleepless nights catering to their very basic needs, enjoying their first words and first steps and watching their very different personalities come through.

But I can't help but think about Peanut.  I've been pregnant four times.  The first ending in a miscarriage.  I was devastated. The longing of my heart was for a child and I walked away crushed.  When we saw that little tiny heart beating on the monitor I was shocked and thrilled.  And we called that sweet little life that was forming Peanut.  Feeling the pain, disappointment, hurt and humiliation was far greater than I even dared to imagine when we realized we had lost what was precious to us.  It was a train wreck that I couldn't escape. 

Maybe you've felt that pain of heart break or maybe you're on the outside and can't turn away but have no idea what to do or say.  Let me say from experience, the outpouring of love and encouragement from those around me both in word and deed was wonderfully overwhelming.   More therapeutic than anything has been the opportunity to share my story.  While the wounds may still be fresh, it is increasingly difficult to share.  However, the power of a testimony can make a difference in the life of another.  Share hope where someone else may need it most.

 

 

The Day the Dishwasher Broke

Sundays are incredibly busy days around our house.  We're usually up early and in bed late with little time for rest in between.  A couple of weeks ago, while in the middle of cooking breakfast for my tribe of hungry fellas, I opened the dishwasher to put away the clean dishes.  As I began unloading I noticed that the dishes appeared half clean.  Ugh! On a Sunday morning of all days.  Mouths to feed, boys to dress, somewhere to go, lunch still to prepare.  Broke.  I stood there in utter disbelief at first.  I quickly put the few dishes I had gotten out back in with more washing liquid.  Turned the dial on the dishwasher.  After several minutes I realized there was absolutely no water going to the dishwasher.  My frustration was mounting.  I didn't have time.  

Today, my dishwasher is still sitting idle.  There is no quickly loading and unloading the dishes in order to move on to whatever is next.  As a matter of fact, the day the dishwasher broke I learned some very important lessons.

• Time is valuable.  I never had to worry about spending time standing at the kitchen sink hand washing and towel drying dishes.  Now, I have to make the best use of my time in order to add one more chore to the list.


• Some things can wait.  I must confess, I'm a social media junkie.  If I'm not careful, I'll spend half my day staring at the screen on my smart phone or at the computer.  In reality, social media can wait.   It is not nearly as important as the three boys laughing and playing in my living room.  Time with my children I can never get back. Facebook status updates will still be there in an hour, a day or even a week.


• Down time is good for my spirit.  I'm a worrier.  I'm constantly thinking about what is or is not done, what needs to be done, why I haven't been able to accomplish this or that.  But when I stand at that kitchen sink, I don't have to think much about what I'm doing.  I can put some music on and just fall into that dish washing routine.

Though I can't say I don't want the dishwasher fixed, because then I'd be a liar, I'm thankful for the opportunity to put some things into perspective.  And see for what I truly should be thankful!