Being a mom is one of the most, if not THE most, challenging and rewarding jobs I've ever held. It comes with its daily ups and downs. As I type, my two year old is hanging around my neck, loudly singing in my ear. Moments like these can never be replaced or remade. It is my joy to raise boys. They are fun, loud, lively boys who enjoy wrestling, running and being outdoors.
This week we saw the passing of a beloved actor, Andy Griffith. I can remember watching reruns of The Andy Griffith Show as a child (up into my adulthood). It was a wholesome show that depicted the adventures of a father raising his young son, teaching him the lessons needed to be a self-sufficient adult with good moral character. I've often wondered how we've gone from one extreme to the other. How do I raise my sons in an Opie fashion?
Since the release of Magic Mike, I've been disheartened by the number of "Christian" women who've gone to see this movie. As a believer, wife and mother of boys, I've been sick thinking about what my boys see me approve and disapprove. This movie (and the book Fifty Shades of Grey) have made me stop and think. How can my husband and I raise our boys in such a way that they are not the object of lust, selfish desires and ingratitude? Here are a few of my thoughts.The first thing my boys need to see is that I as their mother Respect their father. I respect him as a man, my husband, my lover, my friend and my helpmate, just to name a few.
So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:33
It is way easy for us, as women, to become discouraged because our husbands aren't as romantic like when we were dating. They leave their dirty socks laying around the house or don't always help with the household chores. We look for ways to not have to show them respect. Scripture is clear in that we are to respect our husbands (this doesn't mean we worship them). Respect them with our words, actions, with what we see and what we say. Frankly, none of us want our husbands viewing pornography. We feel demeaned by it. How is watching a movie or reading a book like mentioned above not the same? Our fantasies are telling our husbands we want someone they can't be. It's time to check our motives.
Two, I need my boys to see that I as a woman Respect myself. That I do not condemn myself by what I approve.
Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:24
They need to see me as consistently the same. To understand that moral character is important. Even more important is a personal relationship with Christ. My boys need to see what it looks like for a woman to respect herself so they know what to look for in their future wives. I want them to be able to spot a woman who is comfortable in her relationship with Christ and has good moral character. A woman uncompromising in her faith and femininity. I want them to see it first in me.
Three, I need my boys to see that they can Respect themselves. I want them to understand there is a huge difference between love and lust. The one thing that made my skin crawl was the thought of women (any but especially my age and older) thinking of my sons as objects of their lust-filled fantasies. I want my boys to learn to conduct themselves in such a manner that earns the respect of all people and is not paid for with single bills by women of all ages. Respect is earned, not freely given and cannot be bought. They may not have everything handed to them on a platter. They will have to work for things they want like video game systems or a car because I don't want them to grow up with a sense of entitlement and no work ethic. I want them to respect themselves and not regret who they are and will become.
What are you showing your children by what you approve? How are you instilling a respect for self and others in your child?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
All you boy moms, check out what's going on over at The MOB Society.
