Now, Was That Scared...or Sacred?

The boys and I had the opportunity to join my husband this past weekend as he journeyed to the Florida panhandle to serve as the camp pastor for an amazing group of students and adults.  The weekend was for sure busy.  Lots of water...lots and lots and lots of sand.  The weather was beautiful and the boys were wonderful!  Panama City Beach, Florida is a place that holds a very near and dear place in my heart.  In July 2003 while on the pier there in PCB, Anthony asked me to be his wife.  I'll never forget it!

So much has changed in our nearly nine years of married life.  We've moved to four different cities, not including Harvest, Alabama where we were living when we said "I Do!".  Added three beautiful boys to our family.  Experienced a change in Anthony's ministry from youth ministry to lead pastor.  I've had to opportunity to go from working wife and mom to domestic diva and chief operating officer...of the home that is.  We've paid off three vehicles, bought and sold two houses (by the grace of God...literally) and have VERY limited debt.  I say all of this because we've also learned what it means to be helpmates.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18

What a thought.  The Lord God looked at Anthony and made a helper, me, who is just right for him.  Wow!  There have been countless days that I've struggled, not seeing my worth because I was looking at all I was not.  And there have been days I've struggled, not seeing the worth in our marriage because of our differences.  Standing on the altar that rainy January day, I was in love.  I knew beyond a doubt that he loved me and had chosen me.  Scared was not in my vocabulary.  Scared I was making a mistake? No.  The boy had taken nearly 2 years to propose.  By this time, I knew what I wanted and I couldn't see my life without him.  Scared he'd leave?  No. We'd talked, many many times, about divorce.  When he proposed, I knew the only way out was death.   Sure we have intense moments of fellowship and we've allowed what should be intentional to become routine from time to time.  But what I'm reminded of is this...

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

There is something sacred in forgiveness.  There is something healing in hearing the words I love you.  There is something uplifting when love is an action and not a feeling, an emotion.  What I'm learning is marriage is the single place I can be exactly who God made me to be...without fear of rejection.  After all, He made me just right for Anthony.  Do I ever get scared?  Sure.  My marriage is sacred to me.  And I'm choosing, even today, to work at it.  To stand with my husband and fight for this relationship because I can see Satan attacking the institution of marriage all around me.  And I understand that my vows to Anthony are a covenant between myself, Anthony and the Lord God.  And when I feel like attacking, I have to understand my battle ground is not my home, it's not my husband.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  ~ Ephesians 6:12

I'm not scared of my enemy and I will hold sacred my covenant vows to my husband.  I am pleading the blood of Jesus over many relationships today.  I pray that the eyes of your heart would be opened to all that God has in store for your marriage.  Decide today to be intentional in loving your spouse the way God's Word describes.

How can you be creative in showing your spouse  you love and appreciate them today? 

Raising Opie in a Magic Mike World

***Various bloggers have hit on the topics of "Magic Mike" and "Fifty Shades of Grey".  This is not a debate or a bashing session.  It's the observation from this mother.***

Being a mom is one of the most, if not THE most, challenging and rewarding jobs I've ever held.  It comes with its daily ups and downs.  As I type, my two year old is hanging around my neck, loudly singing in my ear.  Moments like these can never be replaced or remade.  It is my joy to raise boys.  They are fun, loud, lively boys who enjoy wrestling, running and being outdoors.

This week we saw the passing of a beloved actor, Andy Griffith. I can remember watching reruns of The Andy Griffith Show as a child (up into my adulthood).   It was a wholesome show that depicted the adventures of a father raising his young son, teaching him the lessons needed to be a self-sufficient adult with good moral character.  I've often wondered how we've gone from one extreme to the other.  How do I raise my sons in an Opie fashion?

Since the release of Magic Mike, I've been disheartened by the number of "Christian" women who've gone to see this movie.  As a believer, wife and mother of boys, I've been sick thinking about what my boys see me approve and disapprove.  This movie (and the book Fifty Shades of Grey) have made me stop and think.  How can my husband and I raise our boys in such a way that they are not the object of lust, selfish desires and ingratitude? Here are a few of my thoughts.

The first thing my boys need to see is that I as their mother Respect their father.  I respect him as a man, my husband, my lover, my friend and my helpmate, just to name a few.

So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  ~Ephesians 5:33

It is way easy for us, as women, to become discouraged because our husbands aren't as romantic like when we were dating. They leave their dirty socks laying around the house or don't always help with the household chores.  We look for ways to not have to show them respect.  Scripture is clear in that we are to respect our husbands (this doesn't mean we worship them).  Respect them with our words, actions, with what we see and what we say.  Frankly, none of us want our husbands viewing pornography.  We feel demeaned by it.  How is watching a movie or reading a book like mentioned above not the same?  Our fantasies are telling our husbands we want someone they can't be.  It's time to check our motives.

Two, I need my boys to see that I as a woman Respect myself.  That I do not condemn myself by what I approve.

Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:24

They need to see me as consistently the same.  To understand that moral character is important.  Even more important is a personal relationship with Christ.  My boys need to see what it looks like for a woman to respect herself so they know what to look for in their future wives.  I want them to be able to spot a woman who is comfortable in her relationship with Christ and has good moral character.  A woman uncompromising in her faith and femininity.  I want them to see it first in me.

Three, I need my boys to see that they can Respect themselves.  I want them to understand there is a huge difference between love and lust.  The one thing that made my skin crawl was the thought of women (any but especially my age and older) thinking of my sons as objects of their lust-filled fantasies.  I want my boys to learn to conduct themselves in such a manner that earns the respect of all people and is not paid for with single bills by women of all ages.  Respect is earned, not freely given and cannot be bought.  They may not have everything handed to them on a platter.  They will have to work for things they want like video game systems or a car because I don't want them to grow up with a sense of entitlement and no work ethic.  I want them to respect themselves and not regret who they are and will become.
What are you showing your children by what you approve?  How are you instilling a respect for self and others in your child?

 

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All you boy moms, check out what's going on over at The MOB Society.