My 10 Things for 10 years

Gray skies covered North Alabama ten years ago today. It was a little dreary and cold.  But I could have cared less what the weather outside was like...I was about to marry the most wonderful man in the world.  Ten years, 3 kids and six cities later the weather is cold.  And I still don't care because I woke up next to the man of my dreams this morning.

In honor of ten years, here are ten things about this incredible man I love so much.

He is passionate. About Christ and the hope found only in Him. You hear it when he speaks. You can see it in his actions.  It is evident in the everyday ins and outs of life. This passion drives him.



 

 

 

 

He is a teacher.  More than just telling others about things, he wants them to learn and to know that they know for themselves.



 

 

 

 

He is adventurous. New places never bother him. He sees it as opportunity and looks for new things to see and do.



 

 

 

 

He is goofy. Never embarrassed easily, he loves to just be silly and goof off with the boys.



 

 

 

 

He is a learner.  After nearly 7 years of seminary and what seems like hundreds of books, he is always reading and learning.  Digging for knowledge and gleaning wisdom.



 

 

 

 

He is a fan. Of sports. All things University of Alabama.  Football and golf. We can even watch and play together.



 

 

 

 

He is a foodie. But only when it comes to the grill or sweets. He loves BBQ and Burgers. Chocolate Chip cookies and ice cream.



 

 

 

 

He is a friend. No matter the miles that separate, he will always call to check in with his friends, praying for them and laughing with them.



 

 

 

 

He is a father. Our boys know they can look to dad, talk to dad, wrestle with dad and just be in his presence. He gives them love and discipline, helping set the course for them.



 

 

 

 

He loves selflessly. Daily he helps with the boys, does household chores and makes sure that I have time to be in The Word. He wakes early and stays up late, making sure he is able to squeeze in all he needs to do for each day.



There are so many more details I could give but I'll just treasure those in my heart. I am beyond thankful for my man. And am looking forward to celebrating many more anniversaries together!

Choosing Love - A Gift

I'm a grown woman. Thirty four years of walking this little corner of the world.  And I must say, I would never want to do it all over again. Never ever ever.  Not even an understatement. Like a mentioned in this post, I was a hopeless romantic. Hopeless. 

The first nearly twenty one years of my life was spent at the hands of my own preconceived ideas about who I was and what I needed.  Growing up in a somewhat small suburban community in what was once known as the "Bible belt" was not so bad.  The school I attended was average.  My grades were satisfactory.  My involvement in extracurricular activities was minimal.  My family was provided for by hardworking, still married parents.  We attended a small church where most people were family.  Life wasn't so bad.



I was liked by most people.  I stayed out of trouble and in the background mostly.  My family loved me.  Yet, I had an intense desire to be loved.  Loved for who I was.  School girl crush after school girl crush.  Nothing.  I felt a little like Violet from the Incredibles....invisible.  And then when I was noticed, I made poor choices for fear of losing love.

Until one day. Well into my college years, the guy I had been dating broke it off.  Feeling crushed, I didn't know what else to do so I began praying.  The Lord was faithful in showing me that I had to learn to love me.  The me that He had created me to be.  So what, I had made a list of expectations for my future man.  If I wasn't secure in who I was, it really wouldn't matter what I wanted in someone else. The truth of the matter is, if someone can talk you into doing or being something, then someone can talk you out of it.  Your actions prove your stability.  And stable I was most certainly not.

It came down to finding my identity in Christ, not in someone else's opinion of my worth.  It became about accepting Christ's free gift of love and choosing to live fully in that gift, day after day after day.  To accept who I had been and choose to no longer be that person.  A choice of no longer hiding in my shame, but allowing that shame to be removed by The One who loved me while I was still a sinner.  He knew me then and knows me now and loves me the same.  His love, Christ's love, is grace-filled and glorious.

God blessed me, truly blessed me, when He brought my husband into my life.  Not only was he what I had desired in my future mate, he was willing to take a backseat to my relationship with Christ.  And our relationship is wonderful and a work in progress.  Marriage, as with any human relationship, takes work.  The warm fuzzies last for a week or two, maybe a little longer, but if you don't know who you are you can't give fully to any relationship.  And trust me, if you don't love who you are, how can you expect someone else to love you and choose to remain in that love?


What or who are you listening to that is falsely describing who you are or should be? Are you willing to lay aside what everyone else wants for you so that you can follow Christ and what He wants for you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulF23jpFvyY

Peanut - A Gift

I'm not one of those girls who had their wedding planned before Mr. Right showed up and swept them off their feet.  I was a hopeless romantic who dreamed of the day I'd meet that man of my list.  List, you ask.  The one I made that included all things I wanted, and all things I didn't, in my husband.  I never dreamed of what I'd name my children or how many I had to have.  Of course, I wanted all this.  To marry Mr. Right and have children.

And in January of 2006, Mr. Right and I found out we were expecting our first bundle of joy.  The best two year anniversary present this girl could have asked for.  We scheduled our doctor visit, saw that sweet little life that was forming in my womb.  We nicknamed him/her Peanut.  The heartbeat...incredible.  In March, after having been on a business trip for several days, I returned home.  We went to our scheduled doctor visit only to find that there was no heartbeat.  After 3 days of blood tests and ultrasounds, my worst nightmare was confirmed.  We lost our little Peanut.

Devastated.

The gift was not only in the little life that stopped forming in my womb.  For days, weeks even, women surrounded me with cards, hugs and prayers.  They reached out to share their stories of loss and grief.  These were testimonies to the grace of God, who both gives life and takes life away.



 A gift.

I never thought I'd be able to handle something like that.  Losing an unborn child.  The greatest gift I received in it all was in drawing near to The Giver of life.  He taught me to trust Him even when it was difficult and I didn't understand. To lean in to His heart when all seemed to fall apart around me.   He has taught me how to turn every blessing He has given back to praise...even the hard ones.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giw2KfOZf0k

For My Valentine

A sunset.  Has to be my favorite piece of art ever created.  There are never two just alike and no one can come close to duplicating the artists original piece.  And, my life changed waiting on a sunset.

I'll never forget that hot July night.  We'd been in Panama City for a couple of days. Enjoying the sand and the waves. Eating some wonderful seafood. Taking in the sights.  Little did I know he was waiting on a sunset.  The weather had been less than perfect that week.  Cloudy at best, scattered showers.  So finally after days of waiting on perfection, he chose to take a leap.



That night we'd eaten dinner, gone to hear a little music and then went for a walk on the pier. It was late but that ring in his pocket must have been burning a hole because he just couldn't wait any longer. And even though he'll tell you he wished he would have gotten down on one knee, it was perfect.  There was no beautiful sunset, no perfect romantic place.  It was just him and me.  And a yes!

Anthony, after celebrating 9 wonderful years of marriage and the births of 3 handsome, fun boys, I realize that there may never be perfection.  But as long as I'm with you, that's right where I want to be.  Here's to many more years together.  And one day, we'll have that sunset!

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=91BF2MNU

 

All the Married Ladies

It's that month.  You know the one where everyone on your Facebook and Twitter feeds are sharing their "30 Days of Thanksgiving". November.  The one month out of the year where nearly everyone can find something for which to be thankful.  As a matter of fact, I've been counting some blessings myself.

This morning was difficult to see thankful things.  Boys sick, not sleeping well and mom just not wanting to rise early.  So I spent some time in God's Word, the holy scriptures.  Reflecting on His promises.  And then on to breakfast. Words ringing in my head, echoing of conversations past and desiring to be truly thankful.  As I break open the eggs, my thoughts seem to focus on the things for which I've been less thankful.  He walks into the room preceded by our youngest child and I see thanks in a whole new light.



After nearly 9 years of marriage, how often have I expressed my specific thanks to and for my husband? This morning was less about me and more about us, as I chose to let go of my way and accept his help - help not asked for or offered, just given.  And I wondered, how often have I counted my blessings?  Blessings, gifts. Why am I thankful for him at all?  If I say I'm thankful for him, for our marriage, then my reasons are not all general but more specific.

• I'm thankful for his help with breakfast.


• I'm thankful for his not allowing the boys to speak to me in an improper tone.


• I'm thankful for the way he holds me close.


• I'm thankful for his spontaneous, fun personality.

And the list goes on and on and on.  What about you?  Are you thankful for your spouse? If so, in what ways?  Do you see the good in them and encourage them?  Can you find at least one thing to be thankful, truly thankful for in them daily?  I dare you.  I dare you to let go of selfishness, pride, bad advice, putting children ahead of your spouse and see the things, the gifts, given to you by your spouse.  Write them down, name them one by one.  One day, the children will grow up and move out, there will be changes in jobs and in the end it will just be the two of you.  Will you choose joy in your marriage - I dare you!

 

 

Now, Was That Scared...or Sacred?

The boys and I had the opportunity to join my husband this past weekend as he journeyed to the Florida panhandle to serve as the camp pastor for an amazing group of students and adults.  The weekend was for sure busy.  Lots of water...lots and lots and lots of sand.  The weather was beautiful and the boys were wonderful!  Panama City Beach, Florida is a place that holds a very near and dear place in my heart.  In July 2003 while on the pier there in PCB, Anthony asked me to be his wife.  I'll never forget it!

So much has changed in our nearly nine years of married life.  We've moved to four different cities, not including Harvest, Alabama where we were living when we said "I Do!".  Added three beautiful boys to our family.  Experienced a change in Anthony's ministry from youth ministry to lead pastor.  I've had to opportunity to go from working wife and mom to domestic diva and chief operating officer...of the home that is.  We've paid off three vehicles, bought and sold two houses (by the grace of God...literally) and have VERY limited debt.  I say all of this because we've also learned what it means to be helpmates.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18

What a thought.  The Lord God looked at Anthony and made a helper, me, who is just right for him.  Wow!  There have been countless days that I've struggled, not seeing my worth because I was looking at all I was not.  And there have been days I've struggled, not seeing the worth in our marriage because of our differences.  Standing on the altar that rainy January day, I was in love.  I knew beyond a doubt that he loved me and had chosen me.  Scared was not in my vocabulary.  Scared I was making a mistake? No.  The boy had taken nearly 2 years to propose.  By this time, I knew what I wanted and I couldn't see my life without him.  Scared he'd leave?  No. We'd talked, many many times, about divorce.  When he proposed, I knew the only way out was death.   Sure we have intense moments of fellowship and we've allowed what should be intentional to become routine from time to time.  But what I'm reminded of is this...

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

There is something sacred in forgiveness.  There is something healing in hearing the words I love you.  There is something uplifting when love is an action and not a feeling, an emotion.  What I'm learning is marriage is the single place I can be exactly who God made me to be...without fear of rejection.  After all, He made me just right for Anthony.  Do I ever get scared?  Sure.  My marriage is sacred to me.  And I'm choosing, even today, to work at it.  To stand with my husband and fight for this relationship because I can see Satan attacking the institution of marriage all around me.  And I understand that my vows to Anthony are a covenant between myself, Anthony and the Lord God.  And when I feel like attacking, I have to understand my battle ground is not my home, it's not my husband.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  ~ Ephesians 6:12

I'm not scared of my enemy and I will hold sacred my covenant vows to my husband.  I am pleading the blood of Jesus over many relationships today.  I pray that the eyes of your heart would be opened to all that God has in store for your marriage.  Decide today to be intentional in loving your spouse the way God's Word describes.

How can you be creative in showing your spouse  you love and appreciate them today? 

Love Wildly

I sat in the passenger seat comfortably as we began our trek home yesterday. Somewhere among the endless tree line and scattered houses, we missed our turn. The already unfamiliar gave way to even more newness. My adventurous husband decided we'd find our way home. I wasn't opposed. So we made a turn at the next little "Radiator Springs" type town and headed off into the unknown.

I watched with longing the untamed pasture land with their clusters of trees and an occasional herd of cattle. Something deep inside me longed to flee the confined space in which I sat and roam the open countryside. To be able to enjoy the spontaneity of the moment and the beauty of the land up close.

We finally, and with absolutely no trouble, made it home even more quickly than I expected. As I went back into "routine mommy mode", I realized that all too often I see adventure from afar. I choose the safe route. I seek the known.

As a wife.

As a mom.

As a believer.

I want to be adventurous, spontaneous. I want to love wildly. To loosen the reins and be free to be who I was created to be. To live up to Christ's expectations for who I am and forget everyone else's. To give my all without reservation. To be willing to leave the familiar and chart new territory.

My heart aches to be loved wildly. To love and be loved without conditions and limitations. To breakdown my own expectations of who I should be and allow

my husband,

my children,

my Savior,

to love me wildly. To make the most of the relationships I've been given. To see them as gifts and not as obligations. They are for here...for now. We take nothing with us when we die. So make the most of every moment.

Love Wildly

The Journey Continues

I'll never forget walking up the back steps of Tatum Court, heading to some class, when a friend looks at me and says, "You'll be a pastor's wife." Those words rang in my ears like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Never. I couldn't imagine my already flawed life being under the microscope of ministry. I mean really. Me? A preacher's wife? I don't play piano and I don't sing. I'm not always the most gracious or most patient. And all too often I've lacked a guard on my tongue. Meaning...I have been known to say what I think on occasion. I walked away that day thinking to myself, "That will Never happen."

So glad there's such thing as humility! In January 2004, I married the love of my life. He was serving as a youth pastor at the time. I know, youth pastor right. In my mind, pastor and youth pastor... two very different things. Funny thing. The church he was serving was being led by an interim pastor at the time. I remember Ant coming home one day saying something about Ron (interim pastor) and Anthony becoming a pastor. We both laughed it off at the time but kept it in the back of our minds.




The last 18 months or so have been the most challenging of our married life. Besides the fact we gave birth to sons numbers 2 and 3 in that short time frame, we began to understand our life in ministry was about to change as well. Nearly 7 months ago (wow, it has been that long), we left a loving church family in Birmingham, understanding that the Lord was moving our family to deepen our faith and trust His direction, timing and provision. Anthony has been working hard on his master's degree. Driving 3 hours one way, one or two days a week for classes. There have been days I've felt like a post-Egypt Israelite, grumbling about my wanderings though I can see God's provisions at my fingertips. Other days have been faith-filled and full of joy.





Now, not that we've arrived, we begin a new leg of our journey. Knowing the Lord would lead us back into full-time ministry, we knew this time it would be in the role of pastor for Anthony. Yesterday, Anthony accepted the call to be the lead pastor at New Life Fellowship in Gilbertown, AL. We are excited to join with this precious group of believers to serve our Lord Jesus and love our community! Praise the Lord for His direction and timing are never wrong.

Marriage, Family, Ministry - My Role, God's Design : Day 5

When I think about all my years of "education", I must admit that I think about the learning part of high school with less than fond memories. I was never the smartest in my class...and, honestly, that does not bother, it didn't then and doesn't now. I was not one who had a photographic memory or learned by observing. I have been and will likely always be a hands on learner. There were times I wished to be like the smarter kids who could do things without the aid of the teacher or other classmates, especially when it came to math and science. I just wasn't. In those subjects, I often needed help (and lots of it!).

So much time has passed since high school and I'm older and more knowledgable. However, there are so many areas in my life where I need a helper. And there are areas in my life where I am needed to be a helper.

As I read through the account of Adam and Eve, it is stated that Adam needed someone to complement him (not complete him) and to act as his helper. It doesn't say Adam needed someone to submit to his authority. You see, Adam had been given the world to oversee. Tending for and watching over the Garden of Eden was his responsibility. Read Genesis 2:15. Eve was there to complement him, to help him. Read Genesis 2:18. She wasn't made to take over Adam's job. God did not intend for Eve to be like a corporation known for hostile take-overs. God did not make a mistake when He created Adam. Eve was not a better version or created to show Adam up. She was made to help him.

Confession time, I'm awful about asking my husband, my helpmate, to do something and then taking over leaving him little or no opportunity to fulfill his role as helper. And then he feels let down, as though I do not trust him or value his ability.

In what areas of your life are you being a helper? In what areas do you need a helper? Are you allowing your helper to be just that or are you trying to do it all yourself?

Step back today and take a look at things. We weren't made to do it all ourselves. Ask in what areas/ways you're needed to be a helper and where you need a helper. For me, I've been challenged to let my helpmate help and not try to carry the load alone.

In Christ,
Naomi

Marriage, Family, Ministry - My Role, God's Design : Day 4

I have a confession to make. I'm not much of a pet person. There, I said it. As a matter of fact, the only pet we had for any length of time when I was a kid was a Gold fish named Freddie my brother got at a birthday party - for free! And honestly, my mom put him in a mason jar hoping he would meet his demise quickly. So, after multiple aquariums and many years later, we finally found Freddie belly up.

I like fish. They are low maintenance. You feed them and clean their aquarium and that's it! There is no teaching tricks or house breaking. You don't have to worry about them attacking anyone. They are low maintenance, like I said before. The best part is, whether you look from inside or outside the aquarium, they still do the same thing - swim. They're not in the habit of changing.

Read Genesis 39.

As I prayed about the next quality a Godly wife possesses, I was led to this chapter. Needless to say, Potiphar's wife did not possess what the Lord impressed upon my heart. As a matter of fact, her life lacked it greatly.

Joseph was a Godly man. The Lord had brought him out of a bad situation into a place he'd never been before. He was sold into slavery to Potiphar. And he was given free reign over the management of Potiphar's house. The one and only thing kept from Joseph by Potiphar was Potiphar's wife. This woman was married to a very wealthy man. She had everything most of what she wanted. However, the one thing she wanted that she didn't have, she couldn't have - Joseph. She made her intentions known to Joseph - she wanted to sleep with him. He refused (way to go Jo Jo!). When she didn't get her way, which I'm going to guess she was used to getting, she made it look like he tried to rape her. Potiphar sided with his wife. He removed Joseph from his house and had him thrown into the king's prison.

This is what gets me, Potiphar trusted his wife! He never second guessed the information given to him. He acted quickly and in such a way as to protect her. However, she was a liar and an adulteress. She was not a Proverbs 31 woman.

Proverbs 31:11-12

Her husband can trust her

Potiphar's wife lacked integrity. How she lived in front of him was not how she lived when he wasn't around. She was not like a fish...when it came to her behavior, she was not the same all the time.

Can your husband, or wife, trust you? Does your life look the same from inside and outside the fish bowl?

Take the time daily to seek the Lord. Choose to make what's important to Him important to you and even when you feel thrown under the bus (or in prison like Joseph) the Lord will be glorified by your integrity.

In Christ,
Naomi

Marriage, Family, Ministry - My Role, God's Design : Day 3

This girl is a sucker for a good love story. The Notebook, Where the Heart Is...well, you get the point. I end up looking like Niagra Falls. Tears flowing like someone left the kitchen faucet on. The worst part of those stories, for me, is that I end up feeling emotionally overwhelmed. They drain me of reality and fill me with fairy tale fantasies that do not come true.

I have the most wonderful husband ever! He's kind, patient, God-fearing and loves me for me. As I walk through this journey in God's Word to seek to be a Godly wife, I see even more clearly the love story written for Anthony and me. It requires me to rely more on God than on Anthony. It also means that I let go of fairy tale fantasies and experience the reality of love given to me in my marriage.

Song of Songs is a telling book. The dialogue between this young man and young woman may make little sense to us today. Not sure how I'd feel if Anthony told me my hair was like a flock of goats. However, it speaks of faithfulness and purity between a husband and wife.

Song of Songs 7:10,

I belong to my love, and his desire is for me.

As Anthony's wife, I have made a choice to be faithful to him "until death do us part." Scripture tells me that faithfulness is more than not committing the act of adultery. As a matter of fact, Jesus says in the sermon on the mount that to even look lustfully on another is adultery. For me that means doing what Proverbs 4:23 says...guarding my heart. Not just guarding mine, but guarding Anthony's heart as well. Faithfulness is a heart condition. It is reflected in my attitude and actions.

According to scripture, I belong to Anthony and because I belong to him, I've chosen to be faithful. To live my life in such a way that his desire would be for me alone. But in my "living", I must remain pure. Mine and Anthony's relationship should take precedence over every other relationship in our lives, save for our relationship with Christ.

Today my prayer is that the Holy Spirit will reveal to me any relationships or areas in my life that poss a threat to my ability and willingness to remain purely faithful to Anthony and to Christ.

What about you? What do you need to guard your heart from in order to be found faithful to your spouse and to Christ?

Marriage, Family, Ministry - My Role, God's Design : Day 2

Ah the joys of dating. The hours days spent consumed with thoughts of that dream guy. That smile, those eyes. Wake up Sleeping Beauty! Yep, just a dream. (By the way, the best of the best is mine!)

I can honestly say I am more than thankful that my days of singleness are over. Choosing a spouse is not a decision to be made lightly. I say that as I think about my "list". That's right, I sat down, pen in hand, as a freshman in college and made a list of all the qualities I wanted in my husband. Some were silly qualities or abilities and some were quite serious. There were a few guys I tried to squeeze into that mold that just were not who God had made me to complement (Genesis 2:18 HCSB). Praise the Lord, I am forgiven and no longer who I used to be.

What does all that have to do with my "topic of the month"? Well, nothing everything!

Read Genesis 24.

As I read this, I discovered something very interesting, something I'd never seen before...a marriage proposal. Not exactly what we're used to but it was unique. See, Abraham spills out to his servant what he was looking for in a wife for his son. Then Abraham sends his servant to find this woman and propose marriage.

And what does this have to do with my role as a wife? Rebekah was Isaac's complement by God's design. One thing stood out in my reading: Respect.

Rebekah treated this foreigner no different than she would have anyone else. She went above and beyond the call of kindness to help this stranger out. She respected her husband by returning with his servant rather than remaining with her family for any length of time. Then Rebekah showed respect by covering her face with her veil. She wasn't out to meet societal norms, please someone else or check something off her list of to do's. She offered to meet a very real need in the life of her husband, and her family before that, by showing respect.

The beauty of it was that in turn Isaac loved her. Not lived with her as a convenience or felt sorry for her and showed her pity. He LOVED her. Did she respect him so that she would be loved in return? Doubtful. She respected him long before she had a chance to see his smile, his eyes. Long before she practiced writing "Mrs. Isaac," so to speak.

My challenge today is to look for ways to respect my husband, not so that he will love me, but so that he knows I love him!

Marriage, Family, Ministry - My role, God's Design : Day 1

To say I'm not ever up for a challenge would be less than the truth. As a matter of fact, I like a good challenge...as long as I don't lose. Don't believe me? Ask my husband about the game of Risk! But that's a story for another time. After spinning my thinking wheels for several days, I hesitantly accepted the challenge of blogging on the same topic everyday for 31 days or the entire month of October. Crazy, I know, but a challenge worth facing (in my opinion).

Marriage, family and ministry are all topics most anyone can talk about vaguely as well as in-depth. Everyone has their own opinions, thoughts and convictions as to how each of these should work. Myself included. I'd even venture so far as to say that each of these is a challenge for me. In the process of "growing up" I formed my own perceptions based on the influence others opinions had made on me in regards to these three areas.

My challenge...that I chose to accept...is to spend time in the Word of God and let Him reveal to me, my roles as wife, mother and partner in ministry as He designed them. As I open His Word daily, I pray the Holy Spirit will convict, challenge and change me for His glory.

So, let the journey begin!

The Game of Love

In preparation of our big upcoming move, we've been going through a lot of old junk deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.  I was moving some boxes to the dining room when I saw my big purple tote.  In this tote is all kinds of things, including but not limited to old journals dating back to middle school.  Yes, I would be crazy embarrassed if ANYONE ever read them, partly because I was so immature and my priorities were way out of order.  So why the title of this post? You see, without naming any names, I was "inspired" by a relationship status change from Facebook as well as seeing all my old journals from school.

I've always desired to be loved.  Wanted to be held in high esteem by one man...FOREVER.  Desired to be treated with honor and respect.  Wanted the desires of my heart to be anther's priority as well.  And no matter how many guys I went on dates with, told my deepest darkest secrets to and even shared my heart with, only ONE chose to pursue me and make me his FOREVER.  But way before that ever happened, I believed a lie.  I was told that no guy would ever want me if I didn't date.  Well, let me just tell you, even when I was a teenager, dating wasn't what it used to be!  Love is NOT a game; dating is NOT marriage.  However, way too often, we mistake dating for love.  And love IS a choice, not just an emotion - especially when it comes to marriage.  It is a choice that is made despite how one looks when then first wake up, despite their spending habits, despite their how they were raised.

So, here are a couple of ways dating needs to change, in my opinion.  For one, there must be an element of mystery, not secrets.  The other person doesn't have, or need, to know all your deepest darkest secrets.  However, there should be honesty between the two.  With dating, there should be a mutual respect but not exclusive rights.  You aren't vowing to another person to LOVE them FOREVER, that is marriage! Second, don't make dating a mini-marriage. Dating is a conditional relationship with established boundaries and a potential end.  Marriage is an unconditional relationship without boundaries that is an eternal covenant.

Here I am thinking about all the times people told me this (before I met the Love of my life!) and I let it go in one ear and out the other.  And after seeing the FB status change and all my old journals, well, I was reminded that God is love.  He does not play games with us, especially when it comes to His love for us.  He desires us to trust Him and to know Him fully.  This doesn't happen just dating God.  He requires our time and attention.  You don't fall in love and choose to stay in love over chance, random meetings with little or no communication.  It's the same in our relationship with God.  It's not like a FB relationship status.  It's not complicated, He will not divorce us, nor will He leave us single if we are desiring Him.  It drives me crazy when I ask my husband why he loves me and he answers, "Because I choose to." But honestly, he's so right.  It's the same way with God, He is Love and He chooses to love us (John 3:16).  So remember, love isn't a game...be careful what you make of it.