33 Years & A Million Miles

Woke up this morning to a little curly red-haired boy climbing into my bed at 2:45 AM.  Just like any other night he comes into our room he snuggles up close and begins to whine for his "tup".  This beautiful gift finished his cup of choc and restlessly fell back to sleep.  He tossed and turned, kicked and cried for the next 3 hours.  And though my words may not always express it, I am thankful for his life.

I can only imagine the joy my own parents felt as this day thirty three years ago they welcomed their own red-haired baby girl into this wild and crazy world. Through the years I have done my own share of kicking, screaming, whining and crying. I own a stubborn streak that can even be attested to by my loving husband.  In thirty three years some things have changed and others have, well, changed.

I've learned many valuable lessons over my 33 years and some million miles on this planet.  The one that is etched in my heart and mind today is about change.  Lucky for me I'm no longer the 5 pound 15 ounce baby girl I was when my mother delivered me.  I've grown and matured over the years.  Change.

These are a couple of things I've learned about change.

• Change is inevitable.  We cannot stop somethings from changing no matter how hard we try.  These events/circumstances are things we likely have little or no control over.  That doesn't mean that instances where we can affect change, we shouldn't.  Sometimes we can see change coming and all we can do is prepare.  We should choose our battles wisely.

• Change is a choice. We have the choice to make changes within our own lives that will affect us and those around us. This is by far the hardest for me. To incite change means I recognize something within me that is not the best it could be.  Choosing change pushes me to be a leader and holds me accountable for my attitude and my actions.

After 33 years, I know that change is coming. I can't live a dormant life.  I'm either living or dying.  The choice is will I face change or run from it?  May my next 33 years be something to tell the world about!

The Ministry of Motherhood

The last 12 months have been some of the toughest I've had to face, possibly ever.  I knew last August when we left the full time ministry position my husband was serving, that change was inevitable.  To the depth, I had no idea.  Through much prayer and time in God's Holy Word, Hebrews 11:6 continued to come up.

And it is impossible to please God without faith.  Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

We left knowing that God would provide for our family of five.  How, was a different story (for another time possibly).  Here I sit, nearly a year later.  My husband is serving as the lead pastor of a local fellowship. Change has been evident in our lives.  We have and are continuing to learn to live once again in a rural community.  We're learning still what it means to sincerely seek Christ in the areas of marriage, family and ministry.

Yesterday, as I was reading in Luke 19, I came across the passage in scripture where it talks about Jesus entering Jerusalem.  Reading it, I paused to see that before Jesus came into Jerusalem, while he was still approaching the city, he began to weep.

⁴² “How I wish today that you of all people would understand the way to peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you from every side. ⁴⁴ They will crush you into the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you did not accept your opportunity for salvation.”

To visualize my Lord weeping over a people.  Tears still come to my eyes as I think about it.  He was so moved with compassion for these people.  People who had already rejected him.  Oh how he longed for them to have accepted the way to salvation, the way to peace.

When we left Birmingham, our oldest son was almost 4 years old.  He didn't understand why we had to leave.  Instead of trying to make a 4 year old comprehend what even as an adult can be difficult, we just simply told him that God had another people for us to love.  And that in time, God would show us those people.  Change.  Change of scenery, change of people, change of heart.  As I read this passage again and again, I asked,

"Has Christ's love so filled me for a people, that I've sincerely wept for their salvation?"

As I thought about this question all day yesterday, I kept asking myself what people has He sent me to love?  Mind you, not only did my husband surrender to the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I did also.  So for me to not be as involved in the ministry as he is, is often frustrating.  So, I kept asking, what people, Lord? The answer, your children, Naomi.



I must confess.  I haven't spent near the time playing with my kids as I have telling them to go play.  I haven't rocked my babies to sleep at night as often as I fuss for them to go to bed.  Today, yet another change has occurred in the Stephens' household.  The change from general church ministry to the ministry of motherhood.  I have a ministry right under my roof.  A people I'm to be so filled with the love of Christ for that I weep over their salvation, that I disciple them daily and I teach them all that Christ has taught me through His Word.  Though I have the same responsibility to others, my boys come first.

What people have you been so filled with the love of Christ for that you weep over their salvation?  How has the ministry of motherhood changed your relationship with Christ and with your children?

 

Getting passed me

I like fall, football Saturdays and the changing leaves. I like mornings, sunrises and birds singing. I like sunsets, starry nights and the sound of crickets.

I enjoy napping on the porch swing under a beautifully hand-stitched blanket. I enjoy the sound of my boys laughing together. I enjoy a comfy pair of jeans, a t-shirt and some flip-flops.

I'd rather listen to music with the windows open while cleaning than watch television any day! I'd rather be in a place where the pace is slow and the only traffic sounds heard are the rare car passing by or the train whistle in the distance.

I want my boys to see Christ in me. I want to live life focused on the eternal rather than the temporal. I want my legacy to be more than valueless things and more of investing in the value of others.

I'm learning that getting passed me, the things I fear, dislike and dread, is more than an emotional moment. It's a personal commitment to the one who made me and the only one who can change me. I'm learning that Christ in me is the only way passed me.