The Journey - A Gift

Abram's journey has to be one story in the Bible, though I was familiar with, never really sank in.

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. ... So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed, and Lot went with him.

Genesis 12:1, 4

Leaving family, familiar territory.  Yeah, well, at one time I'd have said I know a thing or two about that.  I married a minister. Packing up and moving is nothing, and I repeat nothing, for us.  Not that I enjoy packing or moving, we've just been through it a few times.  Somewhere around seven moves in the last ten years.



However, in late 2010, my husband and I began to feel the Lord impressing upon us a change in ministry.  Our second son had just been born, and  we began praying and asking for clarity and wisdom.  We experienced God doing some amazing things during this time.  Our house that had been on the market for going on 3 years sold.  Many people began to ask Anthony about his goals in ministry and if he had ever considered other roles.  We also experienced a major surprise...baby number 3 was on the way.

In January of 2011, we experienced a heartbreaking loss, my husband's mother went to be with the Lord.  And by April, we knew that the Lord was moving us from our comfortable place of ministry.  In July, we celebrated the birth of our third son, and in August, we left full-time ministry for my husband to pursue full-time his seminary degree.  Waiting, all the while, for the Lord's direction on what was next.

Our family motto became the words of Hebrews 11:6.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

And that's what we did, trust Him, in full faith that He could and would provide for everything we need.  For nearly six months, we lived with my parents while Anthony worked as he could, not even part-time, and went to school full time, three and a half hours away. We prayed day in and day out for God's guidance.  And guide us He did.  A wonderful church ministered to us during our transition journey.  We are forever grateful for Hillcrest Baptist Church and the ministry they have in their community.  He then opened the door for us to serve New Life Fellowship, another body of believers we are forever grateful for and to.

With three boys ages 4 and under, at the time, this journey of faith was a big eye opener to me.  God can and will use me in whatever circumstances He allows in my life.   No matter how difficult or undesirable the situation.  His goal is for His glory to be made known.  And just as Abram waited and wandered until He was led to the God-promised land, I am thankful for a faith journey that has both mountains and valleys, places I've had the joy of sharing and those that are still awaiting me. Knowing all the while that wherever He leads, I will go.

That 4 Letter Word

Tears left highways down that sweet face as her mascara ran.  And my heart feel into a thousand pieces, or more, as the words just wouldn't come.  Couldn't come.  How do you comfort a heart so young, so innocent?  Stories of young love and adult tragedies were a plague, removing the sacred.

Adults can make dumb decisions. Sometimes they choose themselves over their children.

It didn't make sense and it isn't right. But how do you do damage control?  How do you convince a young heart they are not at fault for their parents poor choices?



And in our world love is a four letter word that has little meaning and even less value.  It's an emotion in passing rather than an action in choosing. The words of Paul to the church at Corinth ring loud in my ears and heart.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV

Am I so naive as to believe that society around me is fine and not falling apart at the seams?  Families crumble. And we leave the children in the aftermath to fend for themselves.  Not fully understanding that this vicious circle of life keeps happening.  And what they see is what they do.  So, when will we step in and make a change?

When will love win?

Who's going to tell her that not every man leaves? Who's going to raise him to be a man, that makes good choices?  Who's going to show her that her worth doesn't come from someone else?  Who's going to teach him to lead by example?

Who's going to chose to love them?  Well, I am.  Will you?

Let's indoctrinate them with love! Love that is not self-seeking or self-serving. Love that reaches out beyond ourselves to embrace others where they are.  That offers hope and freedom.

This isn't something I'm great, or even good, at.  It is a discipline. It means going beyond me.  But, Lord Jesus, I'm ready.  Use me.  And remind me daily to love.

Our Struggle

Yesterday I confessed I essentially signed a non competition clause when I chose to follow Christ.  Thus placing myself under His guidance and authority.  However, it is so much more than that.

My husband and I are raising three incredibly different children. They do not look exactly the same. They don't process things the same.  And they each excel in something different.  They each enjoy their independence. They each respond to different forms of discipline.  And they each react differently to other members of the family.

So it is in the body of Christ.

Paul talks about being gifted by the Holy Spirit. Supernatural gifts to use in serving other believers. In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul discusses the need for diversity of gifts within the body.  And here is where that non competition clause comes back into play. Just as my 2 year old tries to best his older brothers, believers need to be cautious of competition.  Whether they are competing for the approval of God or of man, competition here can be harmful to the individuals as well as the whole body.  Essentially we should be helping one another rather than hurting one another, whether in word or deed.

Here are a few things from Colossians 4:2-6 that can help us keep perspective.

1. Devote ourselves to prayer.  Not something we should do out of religious duty but out of desired relationship. We should readily spend time persisting in prayer. Consistently meeting with Almighty God with a watchful mind and a heart of thanksgiving.


2. Live wisely. Spiritual wisdom comes from God alone. Job 12:13 (NLT), "But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are his."  In order for us to live wisely, we must first spend time seeking wisdom from God, which points us back to 1.


3. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive. Our words, speech or account should be full of grace...kindness, thanks and goodwill.  They should also be attractive.  Full of tenderness that draws others to Christ, not ourselves. Which again takes us back to prayer.

Perspective is key when it comes to competition. Paul tells the church at Ephesus, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  As the church we need to begin seeing our brothers and sisters as family and not competitors. When we signed that non compete mentioned earlier, it wasn't just with God for headship but also with believers for the approval of God and of man.  There is nothing that one of my sons can or will do that will make him receive any more of my love than either of the others.  No matter how much they vie for my attention and approval, not one of them will receive more than the other.  So it is with the adopted sons and daughters of God.


What is direct, or indirect, competition doing to your relationship with Christ and with the church? Have you devoted yourself to daily communion with Christ?

Lesson from Epaphras

If my ability to learn ever stops, Lord Jesus, I pray you take me home to eternity.

I've been studying through the book of Colossians with a precious small group of ladies from our church fellowship.  I can't begin to tell you how much I've needed that time in fellowship with those sweet ladies every week.  This past week was no exception.  And I'm looking forward to our last session on Tuesday night.  But I just couldn't wait to share something that I've learned this week.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Epaphras, a member of your own fellowship and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends you his greetings. He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God.  ~  Colossians 4:6,12

Epaphras was a servant of Christ and member of the fellowship in Colosse. I was moved by his earnest prayer for the church in Colosse.  His desire to see them made strong, perfect and fully confident in Christ.  And it made me wonder, what do I earnestly desire for the church, locally and globally?  Is my desire for each believer for God to make them strong, perfect and fully confident that they are following the whole will of God?  Or is my desire that I would grow and they would follow me?



As I thought about this, I referred to earlier in the text where Paul exhorts the believers to "Let your conversation be gracious and attractive". The word attractive there can, and is often, translated meaning "as though seasoned with salt." Salt can act as a tenderizer.  As believers our conversation, our words, should be full of grace and be tender.  Epaphras sought God's heart for the people of Colosse.  He sought grace and tender mercies to be bestowed on these people.


My heart semi broke when I thought about these verses.  What am I doing?  Am I seeking the heart of God for these people I live life with daily? Or am I too busy trying to look good or appear as though I know best.  I came to the realization that, as a believer, I essentially signed a non competition clause when I chose to follow Christ. I left my CEO mentality and chose the life of a servant.  I gave up one master to follow the Master.  And He alone is gracious and full of tender mercies.  He alone teaches us to look to Him and to earnestly pray for others.  I will no longer try to compete with Him for headship.  I've chosen death to self-righteousness and being self centered.  My desire is for His love and His grace to be what tenderizes my heart and fashions me to be more like Him.

 

Dear Lovey

Dear Lovey,

I came to see you the other day. It was a trip that I should have made long before this time came. I knew you'd be just as beautiful as ever. I just wasn't prepared. You see, I wanted to hug your sweet neck and talk about all the things going on since I saw you last. To have a tea party with bright feather boas and big fun hats. To hear you laugh and see the way your eyes danced. Oh how they danced...with love and grace, whether you were in pain or pain free.




Photo Credit

I walked through those big wooden doors and once again grace nearly drowned me. You were there but no longer present. There was a peace. And there was a void. As individuals and families moved in and out of that double room, the grace that had once adorned you was somehow woven into each face. Changed by the woman you were and the Savior you worshipped, the One you now stand before singing. Joining that great cloud of witnesses.

Oh Lovey, thank you! Thank you for seeing me for more than the hard outer shell I wore. For seeing my flaws and reaching out just the same. In a place I felt like I didn't belong, you were a lighthouse. In a time I wasn't even sure who I was, you were a safe place. You loved me. I love you!

I really wish I had made the trip to say these things in person, I didn't. Thankful that where you are, I will one day be as well - in the presence of our Savior, worshipping for all eternity. How you touched my life will always remain with me, like finger prints uncleaned on glass. Thank you for being the hands and feet of Christ to me!

See you later!

Dirty Work

I am a mom of boys. Energy packed, laughter filled, dirt lovin' little boys. And as you can only imagine our home is packed full of toys. Trains, trucks and tractors are the daily essentials around here. They love it all. From the log trucks that pass by regularly to the tractors they play with on the floor to the books of adventures about Thomas the Tank Engine. Imagination runs wild around this place.

Last night was like any other. Bellies full, baths given and bedtime stories - in that order. After a day of fits, fights and fever, we decided a slightly earlier bedtime was in order. As we laid the younger two in their beds, my husband, older son and I settled on to the bright blue carpet, we prayed for sweet dreams and a morning of fever free babies. Having forgot to pick a bedtime story, I sent my oldest back to grab a book. He came back with a favorite Thomas the Tank Engine story, Percy's Chocolate Crunch.




photo credit

As I read this story for the 101st time, a statement caught me off guard. In reply to his driver Percy huffs, "I want to be useful where I can't get dirty!" My first thought was huh. As a matter of fact, I think that actually rolled right off my tongue. I finished the story, tucked my little angels snugly under the covers and let that statement simmer in my thoughts all night.

The church. There, I said it. That is where my thoughts led me. We want to be useful. To be the hands and feet of Christ. To reach a lost and dying world. To hear "well done good and faithful servant". Useful. But are we willing to get dirty in the process?

Dirty.

We have convenient terms we like to use. Terms that make humanity less hurtful and more easily to dismiss. If we really want to get dirty, be useful, we must call it like it is. The needy are really living in poverty. Unable to find work due to inexperience. Disabled, more than likely to no fault of their own. Addicted and can't find a way out or have no desire to get out. Slaves to a master who sells their body to make money and doesn't care what diseases, emotional or physical abuse they suffer. To get dirty means to see people past their choices and circumstances and to care for them because they are. To realize that sin has them bound, and once had us bound as well.

We have to get passed our country club, "members only" churches. We should be seeking our Savior and not the recognition of our friends and community. Reaching out to the people, like He did. Unapologetic for the Truth yet loving the people. Offering Hope to all we meet.

I don't know about you, but I don't want a church full of cookie cutter Christians. The only way to take The Gospel is by getting dirty in the process.

Defining Success

Joseph, the pride of his father and envy of his brothers.  A young man whose future was already planned.  He'd spend his days along side his brothers tending his father's flocks.  Moving from hillside to valley, providing protection and necessities for them. Having his every need taken care of by his father.

Then in just a moment his entire life flashed before his eyes.  At the request of his father, he set out to find his brothers, checking on them and the flocks in their care.  As he traveled, wandering hillside after hillside looking for them, he never imagined the fate that lay before him.  His brothers, who were quite older than himself, saw him from a distance.  Taking notice of his cloak, they recognized him. Jealousy had already taken root in their hearts and now gave birth to hate.  They plotted his death.  Never once considering the hurt they would cause their own father.  In a last ditch effort, they decided not to kill him but to let him die.  Thus not having blood on their own hands.  Hate gave way to greed.  As they saw a group of merchants traveling to Egypt, they decided to sell their brother.  Forever ridding themselves of his presence and annoyance, or so they thought.



Joseph had prided himself with the visions he had in dreams.  He knew he was favored by his father and rubbed salt in the wounds of his brothers by sharing these dreams.  Now, separated by miles from his family, his only hope was to trust in the God of his father.  The God of Abraham and of Isaac and of Jacob.  His life had been spared by his brothers and was now in the hands of his master.  God's protection brought Joseph to Egypt and into service in the house of Pharoah's captain of the guard, Potipher. It was there the God of Jacob made Joseph successful and opened the eyes of Potipher to see the ability in Joseph.  And Joseph trusted in the only thing he could claim as his own, the faith he placed in his Creator.

There is so much more to this story.  It is a one of redemption and forgiveness.  One that takes betrayal and pride and learns to see passed the temporary to the bigger picture.  Joseph had nothing else he could do but to lean on Almighty God and not on his own understanding.  He had to trust the God who allowed these events to take place had a greater purpose.  That the God who allowed his slavery could also make him second in command of Egypt.

Trusting God in the difficult times is, well, often difficult.  Don't we often see the here and now and not the bigger picture?  We want to make the offense our reason for ____________________(fill in the blank with whatever emotion suites your fancy).  Instead of trusting the God who brought us to this point and can bring us through it as well.   Whatever you are facing, will you do like Joseph and lean on The One who knows and sees the bigger picture?  Joseph didn't have it all figured out and his idea of success had probably been shattered.  Praise God that His protection covered Joseph and covers us as well!

Today I will allow Christ to be my guide. Accepting His definition of success, I will serve others - and not just the ones I choose.  Sharing the Hope that I have with all who ask my reason for it, and probably even more!

Grace...for me

Awoke this morning to a throbbing pain running down my right arm.  For nearly four hours my baby lay on that arm resting after a crying fit in the night.  I stumbled into the kitchen to find my husband and older two boys looking frantically for Fireball the Elf who had hidden somewhere in plain view yet out of sight. Amid the morning chaos, there was still breakfast to be prepared and served, boys to be dressed and groomed, lunch to be packed for my husband and then, well, me.

I never pictured my life to look quite like this.  There are days I wonder what life would have been like if things had been different.  What if I hadn't married?  What if we had never been blessed with children of our own? What if I didn't even live in this country? What if, what if, what if?  Well, I know this much.  I can't live in the what if! I have to live fully right where I am, right now.  Happiness is circumstantial.  It comes and goes...sometimes day by day, sometimes moment by moment.  Joy is based on relationship.  Relationship with Christ...alone.  No other way, no other one.

Some days are like this:

Doors slam.

Boys scream.

The television blares way too loud.

And others go more like this:

The hugs flow freely. 

The boys share.

Music fills the house. 

Either way, I have a choice. One, a choice to live in the fleeting.  The what if moments.  The negative thoughts.  To choose self. Two, a choice to live in the joy.  To see the roses budding in early December.  To watch my boys grow in grace together.  To choose life...and really live!

Grace.  It was flowed unstoppable, uncontainable in my life.  It has taken joy in unlovely circumstances to make me realize this grace is for me.  Grace not to conceal. It is to cleanse.  Grace not from me.  It is to me, for me.  Grace not to cover. It is to calm all my fears. Grace that brings hope, brings joy in abundance.

Today I choose grace.  Life giving, soul cleansing, joy providing Grace. As a woman, a wife, a mother.  Grace that allows me to sow the seed of grace to those around me.  Will you accept grace today?  In the imperfect, fleeting, negative world we live in, choose grace!

Dear Kaitlyn

Dear Kaitlyn,

I read your Facebook status early this morning.  You know, the one that said, "Pray for my generation."  And I felt a tug on my heart to respond with more than a Like.  After a profound day in American history, I hurt for you and your generation.  Here is my response.

To a generation that hangs in the balance:

I’ve seen your plea.  Heard your silent cry for prayer, for help.  Know your need to be - heard, difference makers, part of something great.  And I confess, with deep sorrow, the state of this nation, this people, that you are on the threshold of inheriting, is the result of a selfish, immoral generation.  My generation and those before me.  Generations that thrives on the material for the pleasure of self.

And I grieve.

My generation as a whole, we are not role models for generations to come.  And I humbly request your prayers, encouragement and accountability - for me and for my generation.  Challenge us to be...

• God seekers


• Difference makers


• Commitment keepers.

I want to be able to say to you, follow us as we follow Christ.  Seek those to pour into you the truths found only in the Word of God.  Call us to account for our words, our actions and our inaction.

As Paul exhorts Timothy, I also exhort you in these:

• Train yourselves to be godly, focus on the Scriptures (1 Timothy 4:7, 14)


• Don’t let anyone think less of you because of your age (1 Timothy 4:12)


• Be an example to all believers in the way you speak, live, love, conduct your life and live out your faith (1 Timothy 4:12)


• Encourage the believers (1 Timothy 4:13)


• Serve the body - use your gifts (1 Timothy 4:14)


• Stay true to what you know is right - for the salvation of your soul and the salvation of others (1 Timothy 4:16)

The responsibility you have is great, as my generation will entrust yours with the influence and instruction of our children.  However, the responsibility of my generation is no less great.  We are to lead your generation, and those to follow, in the ways of righteousness.  Forgive us where we have and will fail you.  “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” (Exodus 14:14)

My prayer for you is that your generation (& you specifically) will “Taste and see that the Lord is good” that you will find joy as you “take refuge in him!”  That as you “face many troubles” you will also be aware of how “the Lord comes to the rescue each time” understanding that “the Lord will redeem those who serve him”. (Scriptures found in Psalm 34)

Kaitlyn,  I look at you and your parents, and I’m thankful for the instruction and encouragement you receive.  Knowing that not all in your generation have what you do - both spiritually and/or emotionally.  May our Lord use you in a mighty way to influence others (of multiple generations) for Christ’s kingdom.

Crystal Springs, A Home for Hope

There's a road that runs parallel to Interstate 55 South in Hinds County, Mississippi.  That road is worn, in need of repaving and curvy at best.  But that road leads to home.  The little town in which I was born and raised.  Just before you get to the county line, there's a little neon green beer joint on your right. It's hard to miss!  In fact, it is probably more noticeable than the green Copiah County sign just up the road a piece.

There in rural Copiah County, just outside the city limits, is where I spent most of my childhood days.  Days of playing on the swing set in my parents front yard.  Or even rolling down the hill beside that red brick house.  We played many a day on the concrete slabs near the foot of the big pecan tree that now belongs to my aunt and uncle.  And then there was the time my cousins and I tried to float my younger sister down the creek in a cardboard box.  Did I mention we were kids?!  And the best part was that all my dad's family lived right down the road...literally.  And they still do.

My Granny, my mom's mom, managed a women's clothing store on Front Street.  And when we weren't at home, we could be found with my grandfather.  He'd take us (me, my sister and my brother) to my grandmother's store to watch the train every afternoon.  We'd play hide and seek in the clothes racks and try on all the hats.  And then, on the way home, we'd go by the 7-11 to get an ice cream sandwich or a nutty buddy.  We'd watch television or play in the yard until my mom picked us up.  And usually we'd get to see our aunts and uncles because, well, all my mom's family lived in town.

And for the most part, all my family remains in that little rural Mississippi area.  An area that has in some ways changed dramatically over the years and in others have remained quite the same. The public school system is in desperate need, both physically and academically.  The commerce has taken a toll over the years.  But, when something leaves, something new takes its place.  

Recently my family of five moved back to Crystal Springs for a time.  I will say it was very difficult for various reasons.  One, we'd lived in Birmingham, Alabama and were used to having what we needed at our finger tips.  Two, because we knew it would be temporary.  My husband is the pastor of a church in rural Choctaw County, Alabama now.  But for six months we waited and prayed.

As many of you know, there is a controversy surrounding this small town even as I type.  May I say, the issue at hand is not the story that's in the news.  The incident is unfortunate and tragic.  As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, I'm saddened by the actions of many involved.  However, I want to point out somethings I have seen as an adult.  Not just from living in Crystal Springs but from all over.

We all have prejudices. For some it is race, for some economic status...and I'm sure the list goes on.  However, the key is how we deal with these prejudices. There is no reason we have to act on them.  In fact, most of our prejudices come from a lack of experience on our part.  Many of us have never been where some of these people are.  We don't understand what it's like to be of a different race or economic status.  We place our preconceived notions on others.  We expect that they don't want to work, aren't trying to take care of their families, or are just living off the government.  Truthfully, these are not always the case.

I want to know people and love people.  People who don't look or believe like me.  Who don't have the means I have.  Who love their children and desire to take care of them but can't.  I want to, and have, ask the forgiveness of others when I've wronged them.  And I'm sure I'll have to seek forgiveness again, and again, and again.  I'll admit I make mistakes, have formed opinions before getting to know people and have refused relationships out of my own ignorance.



With all that said, wherever you are, remember that people are human and relationships must be built.  It shouldn't matter the color of one's skin, their economic status, their place of employment, their housing situation, whether or not they have the means to provide for their children and the list goes on.  We can all help one another.  What we don't realize is that we may need that friendship more than the other person.  Because what you don't know about me, you'll never know until you choose to be a part of my life!

Crystal Springs, I look forward to the day that hope is restored in your community.  When there isn't a division of color or class.  Frankly, I look forward to that day for many, many places I've been.  Because hope is for everyone.

Who is it you need to seek reconciliation with today? What prejudices do you need to lay aside in order to be a friend to others? What hope can you share with someone else?

The Ministry of Motherhood

The last 12 months have been some of the toughest I've had to face, possibly ever.  I knew last August when we left the full time ministry position my husband was serving, that change was inevitable.  To the depth, I had no idea.  Through much prayer and time in God's Holy Word, Hebrews 11:6 continued to come up.

And it is impossible to please God without faith.  Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

We left knowing that God would provide for our family of five.  How, was a different story (for another time possibly).  Here I sit, nearly a year later.  My husband is serving as the lead pastor of a local fellowship. Change has been evident in our lives.  We have and are continuing to learn to live once again in a rural community.  We're learning still what it means to sincerely seek Christ in the areas of marriage, family and ministry.

Yesterday, as I was reading in Luke 19, I came across the passage in scripture where it talks about Jesus entering Jerusalem.  Reading it, I paused to see that before Jesus came into Jerusalem, while he was still approaching the city, he began to weep.

⁴² “How I wish today that you of all people would understand the way to peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you from every side. ⁴⁴ They will crush you into the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you did not accept your opportunity for salvation.”

To visualize my Lord weeping over a people.  Tears still come to my eyes as I think about it.  He was so moved with compassion for these people.  People who had already rejected him.  Oh how he longed for them to have accepted the way to salvation, the way to peace.

When we left Birmingham, our oldest son was almost 4 years old.  He didn't understand why we had to leave.  Instead of trying to make a 4 year old comprehend what even as an adult can be difficult, we just simply told him that God had another people for us to love.  And that in time, God would show us those people.  Change.  Change of scenery, change of people, change of heart.  As I read this passage again and again, I asked,

"Has Christ's love so filled me for a people, that I've sincerely wept for their salvation?"

As I thought about this question all day yesterday, I kept asking myself what people has He sent me to love?  Mind you, not only did my husband surrender to the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I did also.  So for me to not be as involved in the ministry as he is, is often frustrating.  So, I kept asking, what people, Lord? The answer, your children, Naomi.



I must confess.  I haven't spent near the time playing with my kids as I have telling them to go play.  I haven't rocked my babies to sleep at night as often as I fuss for them to go to bed.  Today, yet another change has occurred in the Stephens' household.  The change from general church ministry to the ministry of motherhood.  I have a ministry right under my roof.  A people I'm to be so filled with the love of Christ for that I weep over their salvation, that I disciple them daily and I teach them all that Christ has taught me through His Word.  Though I have the same responsibility to others, my boys come first.

What people have you been so filled with the love of Christ for that you weep over their salvation?  How has the ministry of motherhood changed your relationship with Christ and with your children?

 

A Day in the Life

His little voice wasn't as loud as usually. "Daddy," the middle one called early this morning.  It was after 6 AM, which is rare lately.  That sweet little voice can fool you if you're not careful.  What he really wanted was Daddy to pick him up and take him to Mommy.  He spotted my phone on the night stand and as usual said, "Papaw Sound."  This two year old loves Building 429's "Listen to the Sound". So I pull up the video and he watches it until the end.



Breakfast is eggs and fresh cantaloup,  to which the oldest objects because his throat hurts and eggs would just make it worse.  After many attempts to fake cry, he finishes off the cantaloup and leaves the now ketchup covered eggs littering his plate.  The baby graces us with his smiling, happy face.  Nothing like that little gap tooth grin early in the morning.  My love fields a phone call right after breakfast leaving just enough time for him to shower and run out the door.  Hospital duty and the privilege to share the love of Christ with others is waiting for my husband just minutes down the road.

Clothes washing, dishes in the sink, toys, well, everywhere.  It's just another day in the life of this stay at home mom.  An overcast sky with droplets coming from the overhangs could lead to a dreary day.  Clutter piling and beds to be made.  Where's my cape?  I don't feel so super today.  With all that's to be done, I think today will be a day to enjoy time with my three sons.

Setting my table - a view on Holiness

I have a confession to make. Nine years ago, after my amazing husband decided to take a leap and proposed, we never registered for fine china. There I said it. We never picked out or even looked at china patterns. We never discussed if we'd even ever need it. We simply decided not to register for it. So, I'm a pastor's wife who has no fine china. However, being a mom of three very young boys, it might not be such a bad thing.

Sunday, as the boys and I headed to my parents house, I was mulling over what we had discussed in Sunday school earlier that morning. And of all things, fine china came to mind. I know what you're thinking, what was your lesson about?! To be fair, it was more of a discussion instead of a "lesson". And it was about holiness and our relationship with Christ. (I've found myself doing a lot of listening as of late. Which isn't always a bad thing.)

Two things stood out to me.

1. The definition of holiness - set apart.

2. The statement a very precious, dear lady made. (Impact made, not willing to repeat.)

Our discussion centered around Hebrews 10:10,14.

For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time. For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. (Hebrews 10:10, 14 NLT)

Here's where the china comes in. Holiness is being set apart for something more than a common use. So all those beautiful, possibly even antique, place settings with the nicely polished silver ware and sparkling crystal is probably not what I'd put on the table when serving up Spaghetti O's for my 2 year old. Why? Need it even be asked. Those items are set apart, if you will, for special use. They are proudly displayed for everyone's viewing pleasure yet they are only accessible to those deemed worthy to eat from them.

As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, His word tells me I am to be holy because He is holy.

But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:15, 16 NLT)

Maybe I see things all wrong. Maybe my opinion is skewed because of my religious upbringing. Here's how I see holiness.

Holiness is being set apart. Set apart from your old self. Set apart from sin. Set apart from the lures of this enticing world. It is not being set apart from people. We are set apart by and for our God.

Jesus didn't go down to the temple and call to the Chief Priest and the Pharisees to follow Him. Jesus didn't extend the call to those we would've deemed worthy. No, He called those who were willing to follow Him. Jesus set His table for sinners. He reached out to those who were hurting, in need of healing, the humble, the humiliated. He didn't offer them second best, His left-overs. He set His table with the finest of china knowing pieces would end up chipped and broken, crystal shattered and silver ware tarnished. He lavished His grace on all those He came in contact with, whether or not they accepted it. Thing was, those people, the ones Jesus hung with, He met them where they were.

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8 NLT)

I'm not saying as Christians we should partake in things that would hinder our witness to others. What I am saying is we have to go to them - the unbelievers, the hurting, the rejected, the humiliated, the addicts, those who are possibly unloved - not with our left overs. And we can't expect them to watch us and eat off our fine china from afar. Doesn't happen that way. Window shopping is still just looking. From afar we may have influence and never make an impact in these peoples lives. So frankly, we have to go to them, where they are...like it or not. Appearances will all one day disappear and all I'll have left is Jesus.

Bottom line, if I did own fine china, I probably would feed my 2 year old Spaghetti O's off of it. My children deserve my best and they will always receive it. What good does a bunch of expensive plates do me sitting on a shelf?

Believers, quit sitting on a shelf! Go, build relationships with people outside your comfort zone. Quit being afraid of being chipped, broken or tarnished. That's just part of it. (And that was mainly for me!)

Holiness isn't pretty. Just look at the cross. However, Jesus is holy, set apart and we are to be like Him. So next time I set my table, I'm going to look for the chips and lines in my dishes. Why? Because when I see them, I know they've served their purpose. Now, have I?

Love Wildly

I sat in the passenger seat comfortably as we began our trek home yesterday. Somewhere among the endless tree line and scattered houses, we missed our turn. The already unfamiliar gave way to even more newness. My adventurous husband decided we'd find our way home. I wasn't opposed. So we made a turn at the next little "Radiator Springs" type town and headed off into the unknown.

I watched with longing the untamed pasture land with their clusters of trees and an occasional herd of cattle. Something deep inside me longed to flee the confined space in which I sat and roam the open countryside. To be able to enjoy the spontaneity of the moment and the beauty of the land up close.

We finally, and with absolutely no trouble, made it home even more quickly than I expected. As I went back into "routine mommy mode", I realized that all too often I see adventure from afar. I choose the safe route. I seek the known.

As a wife.

As a mom.

As a believer.

I want to be adventurous, spontaneous. I want to love wildly. To loosen the reins and be free to be who I was created to be. To live up to Christ's expectations for who I am and forget everyone else's. To give my all without reservation. To be willing to leave the familiar and chart new territory.

My heart aches to be loved wildly. To love and be loved without conditions and limitations. To breakdown my own expectations of who I should be and allow

my husband,

my children,

my Savior,

to love me wildly. To make the most of the relationships I've been given. To see them as gifts and not as obligations. They are for here...for now. We take nothing with us when we die. So make the most of every moment.

Love Wildly

The Journey Continues

I'll never forget walking up the back steps of Tatum Court, heading to some class, when a friend looks at me and says, "You'll be a pastor's wife." Those words rang in my ears like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Never. I couldn't imagine my already flawed life being under the microscope of ministry. I mean really. Me? A preacher's wife? I don't play piano and I don't sing. I'm not always the most gracious or most patient. And all too often I've lacked a guard on my tongue. Meaning...I have been known to say what I think on occasion. I walked away that day thinking to myself, "That will Never happen."

So glad there's such thing as humility! In January 2004, I married the love of my life. He was serving as a youth pastor at the time. I know, youth pastor right. In my mind, pastor and youth pastor... two very different things. Funny thing. The church he was serving was being led by an interim pastor at the time. I remember Ant coming home one day saying something about Ron (interim pastor) and Anthony becoming a pastor. We both laughed it off at the time but kept it in the back of our minds.




The last 18 months or so have been the most challenging of our married life. Besides the fact we gave birth to sons numbers 2 and 3 in that short time frame, we began to understand our life in ministry was about to change as well. Nearly 7 months ago (wow, it has been that long), we left a loving church family in Birmingham, understanding that the Lord was moving our family to deepen our faith and trust His direction, timing and provision. Anthony has been working hard on his master's degree. Driving 3 hours one way, one or two days a week for classes. There have been days I've felt like a post-Egypt Israelite, grumbling about my wanderings though I can see God's provisions at my fingertips. Other days have been faith-filled and full of joy.





Now, not that we've arrived, we begin a new leg of our journey. Knowing the Lord would lead us back into full-time ministry, we knew this time it would be in the role of pastor for Anthony. Yesterday, Anthony accepted the call to be the lead pastor at New Life Fellowship in Gilbertown, AL. We are excited to join with this precious group of believers to serve our Lord Jesus and love our community! Praise the Lord for His direction and timing are never wrong.

Somewhere between slavery and the Promised Land

I don't know about you but I like to be in control. I like to be able to navigate situations and determine my own course ultimately deciding the outcome. For me, control has been an idol. Strong word, I know. However, the Lord began dealing with me about this very thing idol nearly 18 months ago as I studied the book of Isaiah with BSF International.

The last few years have been quite a challenge for me as my family has faced numerous faith building circumstances. These have all been things that were beyond my control. Situations I'd have changed the outcome of had it been up to me. But the last six months have been the best of times and the worst of times.

Today I spent some time reading in the book of Exodus. The Israelites had been in circumstances not of their own choosing. And were finally experiencing freedom. However, the circumstances were uncertain. Here they were, numbers exceeding 600,000, in the wilderness with little food and little faith. Delivered from their oppression, they found themselves desiring to be back in the certainty of slavery because they knew the outcome and could even - to some degree - control their circumstances. The Israelites had relinquished control. They had relinquished their control of their own lives. They were obedient in their actions but not in their hearts. They grumbled and complained. Mad because they were in the wilderness; mad because they had little or nothing to eat. They were present but complaining. All the while,

And as Aaron spoke to the whole community of Israel, they looked out toward the wilderness. There they could see the awesome glory of the Lord in the cloud. (Exodus 16:10 NLT)

Reading this I saw myself. Stubborn, obstinate. Obedient in my actions but not always in my heart. I'm in a wilderness of sorts. Somewhere between slavery and the Promised Land. My eyes have seen the glory of the Lord in my circumstances and my heart has relinquished it's desire for idol of control. Wherever He leads I'll go. I'm beginning to experience the freedom of letting go and letting God!

What about you? What idols are keeping you from experiencing the fullness of God?

Labels

Grocery shopping is okay. I mean, I have to eat and someone's gotta get the food from the store. No big deal. However, I've never been a label reader. I normally don't check out the ingredients to see how much sodium or sugar is in the contents. As a mom, I'm beginning to see the importance of what I allow my children to ingest. I guess, in order to know though, I have to check the label.

We've been attending cottage prayer meetings with our church fellowship once a week for the entire month of January. I sat there Tuesday night and the Holy Spirit began to open my heart.
How many times do we place labels on individuals? We label them as this or that without considering they struggle with the same kinds of things we do. I may not agree with choices they make or understand addictions they have. The truth is we can all find hope in Christ alone. He knows and understands our struggles, choices, likes and dislikes and desires us to come to Him as we are.

Lord, help me to see people as people and not like cans on a shelf. Labels are for cans, not people. Help me to love people for who they are and examine cans for what's inside, not the other way around.

2012

Looking forward to a new year in just a few short days. As I reflect over all that this year has encompassed, it's been quite a bit more than I realized. It was indeed a year of firsts for our family.





As I anticipate this new year and all it will bring, one word comes to mind...change. I believe this year will be a year of change for the Stephens family. More firsts will present themselves, new challenges and new opportunities. But in order for us to continue to live out our faith in Christ, there must be change.

What about you? What is your "theme" in one word for 2012?

Is there a Doctor in the house?

I'm not necessarily a movie buff, but I do enjoy a good movie every now and then. One of my personal favorites is Ocean's Eleven...with George Clooney and Brad Pitt. They work very well together on screen. There's one scene in the movie where Brad Pitt's con man character appears dressed in some seventies get up with a wig and says, "Did some one call for a doctor?" And all of a sudden I find myself thinking how dumb can someone be to really think he's a doctor dressed like that?!

The last few months in our house have been full of trips to the doc for our poor Sam. He's currently battling his 4th double ear infection since the end of August. He's on his 4th round of antibiotics and is finally sleeping through the night again. After seeing the doc last Friday with Sam and Drew, I woke up with the nasty stomach bug Saturday morning early. As I lay in bed wishing to vomit everything in me, including the bug, so that I could feel better, I was shaken by the words of Jesus Christ.

Healthy people don't need a doctor-sick people do.

My mind immediately raced back to my precious Sam. What symptoms was he exhibiting that made me decide he needed to see a doctor? Was he running fever, extremely irritable, more clingy than normal? None of these. He simply had changed his sleep pattern. Call me crazy, I knew something wasn't right. But to most, he didn't appear to be sick. However, I know my child and I know his needs. Where I was visibly sick and it was obvious I needed a doctor, it wasn't so much with Sam.

My heart churned in me...or was it my stomach? Either way, I had come to the point of realization. Christ answered a question not posed to him but to his friends.

Mark 2:15-17

The world we live in offers instant answers to life's problems. As a matter of fact, there are many people out there posing as doctors who have no medical training and even appear to be out of character. However, people flock to them because they do not desire to wait and are unwilling to pay what's required to see a real doctor.

When it comes to spiritual matters, it is no wonder people flock to other religions. When I look at our churches, I often see people, many or few, who'd rather see what the world has to offer than trusting the Great Physician. How can we be the body of Christ and sit in pews judging our neighbors...that, my friend, is what a Pharisee was - religious and judgmental, refusing to see their own sickness because they couldn't stop looking at everyone else's.

Best form of advertisement - word of mouth. I have a doctor who's daily helping me overcome my own self-righteousness and teaching me to Love others - no matter their circumstances, lifestyle, or socioeconomic status. His name is Jesus. He doesn't want you to come to him perfect. He just wants you to come to him as you are...anger, sickness, addictions, self-righteousness and all. Maybe you see your spiritual (or physical) symptoms or maybe you don't. Just come.

The Hardest Lesson Learned

With three boys under four years of age in my house, one can only imagine all the stuff, especially toys, we've accumulated. There are days I feel like I'm wading, lost in a sea of toys afraid if I take one wrong step I'll land face up thanks to some random toy with wheels. Recently, with Christmas approaching, I told our oldest son that we needed to go through all of the toys and get rid of the ones that are not played with. His face darkened and tears came to his eyes. He explained how the toys were his and how he'd play with them and that he didn't want to give any away. Gently running my hands through his red hair, I sympathized with him and told him that in order to receive any new toys for Christmas he must be willing to get rid of some of the old ones. His whole attitude and appearance changed as he realized that something better was in store.

This made me think about the story of the Rich Young Ruler. Here you had a young man who wanted to follow Christ. He was obedient to the law, making sure he was near faultless in light of it's requirements. He even asked Jesus,

“Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?”

I can see this young man's face as he listens intently to Christ's reply. His whole countenance must have fallen. Realizing that it isn't a deed that he must do but a lifestyle he must live crushed his plans. He wasn't ready to

go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Scripture tells us he went away sad. Watching my young son's response to my "command" to get rid of the clutter, I imagine sad was just the first of a flood of emotions that young man felt. So why is this such a hard lesson to learn. Not because Christ's command was hard to follow but because Christ's command called for him to lay down, completely, that which was of utmost importance and value to the young man. To destroy his own self importance and put others ahead of himself.

So, here I am. I've been injected into the middle of this story as we speak (more like as I type). What is of value to me...comfort, financial stability, self-sufficiency, following on my terms. My whole apple cart has been overturned. I realized after a personally disaster-filled day that I've been living a defeated life. The young man mentioned in Matthew 19:16-30 chose defeat over release. I'm learning that life isn't about having what I want or what I think I need, but trusting Christ to provide. His Word tells me,

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. (Isaiah 55:8 NLT)

Why should I worry? Christ himself said,

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, (Matthew 6:28 NLT)

Following Christ cannot be on my terms. I must learn that quenching the Spirit is not an option. To follow Christ means that today (well, technically last night) what I deemed valuable I must lose sight of in order for Christ to be of utmost value and importance in my life. I'm willing to lose everything and gain nothing except for Christ. Because I am truly beginning to realize that

our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! (2 Corinthians 4:17 NLT)

This is the hardest lesson for me to learn. Are you "doing good" in order to go to heaven? What stands in your way of Christ being the single most important person/thing in your life?