The Ministry of Motherhood

The last 12 months have been some of the toughest I've had to face, possibly ever.  I knew last August when we left the full time ministry position my husband was serving, that change was inevitable.  To the depth, I had no idea.  Through much prayer and time in God's Holy Word, Hebrews 11:6 continued to come up.

And it is impossible to please God without faith.  Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

We left knowing that God would provide for our family of five.  How, was a different story (for another time possibly).  Here I sit, nearly a year later.  My husband is serving as the lead pastor of a local fellowship. Change has been evident in our lives.  We have and are continuing to learn to live once again in a rural community.  We're learning still what it means to sincerely seek Christ in the areas of marriage, family and ministry.

Yesterday, as I was reading in Luke 19, I came across the passage in scripture where it talks about Jesus entering Jerusalem.  Reading it, I paused to see that before Jesus came into Jerusalem, while he was still approaching the city, he began to weep.

⁴² “How I wish today that you of all people would understand the way to peace. But now it is too late, and peace is hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ Before long your enemies will build ramparts against your walls and encircle you and close in on you from every side. ⁴⁴ They will crush you into the ground, and your children with you. Your enemies will not leave a single stone in place, because you did not accept your opportunity for salvation.”

To visualize my Lord weeping over a people.  Tears still come to my eyes as I think about it.  He was so moved with compassion for these people.  People who had already rejected him.  Oh how he longed for them to have accepted the way to salvation, the way to peace.

When we left Birmingham, our oldest son was almost 4 years old.  He didn't understand why we had to leave.  Instead of trying to make a 4 year old comprehend what even as an adult can be difficult, we just simply told him that God had another people for us to love.  And that in time, God would show us those people.  Change.  Change of scenery, change of people, change of heart.  As I read this passage again and again, I asked,

"Has Christ's love so filled me for a people, that I've sincerely wept for their salvation?"

As I thought about this question all day yesterday, I kept asking myself what people has He sent me to love?  Mind you, not only did my husband surrender to the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I did also.  So for me to not be as involved in the ministry as he is, is often frustrating.  So, I kept asking, what people, Lord? The answer, your children, Naomi.



I must confess.  I haven't spent near the time playing with my kids as I have telling them to go play.  I haven't rocked my babies to sleep at night as often as I fuss for them to go to bed.  Today, yet another change has occurred in the Stephens' household.  The change from general church ministry to the ministry of motherhood.  I have a ministry right under my roof.  A people I'm to be so filled with the love of Christ for that I weep over their salvation, that I disciple them daily and I teach them all that Christ has taught me through His Word.  Though I have the same responsibility to others, my boys come first.

What people have you been so filled with the love of Christ for that you weep over their salvation?  How has the ministry of motherhood changed your relationship with Christ and with your children?

 

A Day in the Life

His little voice wasn't as loud as usually. "Daddy," the middle one called early this morning.  It was after 6 AM, which is rare lately.  That sweet little voice can fool you if you're not careful.  What he really wanted was Daddy to pick him up and take him to Mommy.  He spotted my phone on the night stand and as usual said, "Papaw Sound."  This two year old loves Building 429's "Listen to the Sound". So I pull up the video and he watches it until the end.



Breakfast is eggs and fresh cantaloup,  to which the oldest objects because his throat hurts and eggs would just make it worse.  After many attempts to fake cry, he finishes off the cantaloup and leaves the now ketchup covered eggs littering his plate.  The baby graces us with his smiling, happy face.  Nothing like that little gap tooth grin early in the morning.  My love fields a phone call right after breakfast leaving just enough time for him to shower and run out the door.  Hospital duty and the privilege to share the love of Christ with others is waiting for my husband just minutes down the road.

Clothes washing, dishes in the sink, toys, well, everywhere.  It's just another day in the life of this stay at home mom.  An overcast sky with droplets coming from the overhangs could lead to a dreary day.  Clutter piling and beds to be made.  Where's my cape?  I don't feel so super today.  With all that's to be done, I think today will be a day to enjoy time with my three sons.

When forgiveness isn't enough

This morning was like MANY others. My middle alarm clock woke up around 4 AM, shortly after the little one finished his bottle. My gracious husband handled him so I could catch a few more Z's. Six forty seemed way too early but so much to do today. Breakfast to fix, oldest to preschool, groceries to buy...because we have breakfast foods but really, who needs 12 boxes of cereal?!


In the midst of dressing all 3 boys and myself, I found myself out of favor with my oldest. I asked the middle one to bring me the baby wipes and the oldest to bring me a diaper for the baby. The oldest quickly grabbed the wipes and headed toward me. I asked him to give them to his brother and bring me a diaper, much to his dismay. What ensued was a semi-silent tantrum. One that lasted well after I dropped him off at preschool.

I could say so many things here about the temperament of my precious oldest son, the rather sweet 4 year old that he his. But I will refrain. After the noticeable frustration and anger he was feeling because he did not get his way, I asked his forgiveness for not realizing beforehand of his desire to get the wipes (something he is not usually asked to do). I want him, and his brothers, to understand that when they make a mistake, it is good to acknowledge they were wrong and ask forgiveness. I want them to be men who are honest and trustworthy.

However, as we were walking into the school, he was still visibly upset. Before walking in I stopped and asked him what was going on. He repeated that he was still upset over the episode with the baby wipes. Still. Still! But I asked forgiveness and even made a promise to let him bring the wipes next time. I hugged him and we walked in. As he went in his class, his first words to his little friends were about what had happened at home. Ugh! I kept thinking

Just forget about it and move on!

Then it hit me like a TON of bricks. How can I expect his forgiveness when I am quick to punish? Why should I be given grace and make him live by the letter of the law? I am a Pharisee.

I've heard the saying

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

a 1000 times. But what I hadn't banked on was that what doesn't kill you can make you hard-hearted and bitter, can take away your childhood and make you shrug off the responsibilities of adulthood. What am I doing to my sons?!

My desire is that they will desire an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. That as a mom I will extend grace immeasurably (circumstantially as I am able) and be a living example of how they too can extend grace to others. I desire for my boys to see Jesus in and through me. To understand that mom (& dad) make mistakes and they will too but there is forgiveness and grace not just law and consequences.

What about you? What do your children see in you? Are you quick to ask forgiveness and slow to extend grace? May we all look to Christ as our example and be found in His grace today.