Gathered at the Table

There is an old table in my dining area that is in desperate need of some TLC. The top is wearing evidence of meals and memories from years gone by. Each morning, noon and evening my little family gathers there, bowing our heads and hearts to give thanks and enjoy yet another meal.  Gathering at the table, this table, is something for years I have enjoyed with my parents, sister and brother. Dad sitting at the head of the table and my sister and I trying to figure out how to get out of eating lima beans yet again.

So many memories I have around the table.  Just the other night I had the opportunity to gather around a table with a few beautiful sisters in Christ whose hearts are more radiant than even their smiles.  We shared a nice meal on beautiful china, laughing and sharing together in sweet fellowship. It is a picture I will not soon forget.  I'm not one to easily open up and share my struggles, frustrations or fears.  But there was just something about this table, these women.

As we read Scripture and shared gifts of Thanks to our great God, we began to see how the world had crept in, ever so craftily, and robbed some of their offerings to our King.  My mind and heart raced to the twenty-third Psalm, words from the shepherd king.

You prepare a feast for me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
    My cup overflows with blessings. ~ Psalm 23:5

This feast, it's for me - prepared in hard places.  It is offered in the place where the world, The Enemy, and my flesh are present - in the daily, small things and in the extraordinary, grand things.

Life.

It is the body and blood of Christ broken and poured out for me.  This feast, where I come to give thanks, and live thanks, for that which was broken and poured out for me, is the extravagant grace of Christ. An invitation to invite others to come. Opportunity to hold the gates of praise open that others may be drawn into His presence.

Many times lately, I have seen the evidence of stolen praise. Honestly, I have lived a robbed life. Robbed of seeing the gifts of thanks that surround me - because of my own evil desires. Robbed of others with whom to offer these gifts - because of my own fears, frustrations and struggles. As James wrote to the persecuted church he clearly lays out what true religion, religion in the eyes of God, looks like.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. ~ James 1:27

Oh that you and I would refuse to let the world corrupt us! That we would not be drawn back from His table.  That our living would be a thanks offering to Christ for Him - His life, His love, His offering, His grace, His friendship, His mercy and the list goes on and on.

Sitting around that table with those women, there was just something indescribable. There was a moment, an offering, a steadfastness that I cannot explain.  As Christ took upon Himself the role of the servant, stooping to wash the feet of His closest friends and one who would betray Him, then serving the meal of the portrait that was truly yet to come, I see community in a whole new light. It is an opportunity to offer to Christ, with others, praise and thanksgiving, inviting those who have not yet refused the world to see glimpses of Christ, tasting His goodness. And sometimes it is inviting back those who have felt the corruption of the world even after experiencing Christ's goodness, reminding them where they belong, at His table.

Whether you gather around a dining table with friends or in the comfort of your living room, driving down the road, or wherever you may be, my prayer for you today is that you would do as the Psalmist says:

Taste and see that the Lord is good.
    Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
Fear the Lord, you his godly people,
    for those who fear him will have all they need.
Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
    but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.

~ Psalm 34:8-10

Taste His goodness, take refuge in him, trusting that in Him you will lack no good thing.

People Matter

The words slipped out of my mouth before I even had time to think through what I was saying.

If we sponsored through them, we'd be pulling our sponsorship.

Just like that, my careless words hung in the air. And my head hit the pillow and fast asleep I fell. Never in a million years could I have foreseen what would happen next.

The next morning it felt like a tremendous elephant was in the room as I saw blogs and articles reporting the actions of this organization. My toes felt danced all over. And my words began to bubble in my soul. I began to boil furiously as I considered what I had said. Were the actions of this "Christian humanitarian" organization heinous enough for me to consider my donation before the life of a child, family and community in need? Sure I didn't agree with their decision.  However, there is a commitment to see the sponsorship through...to the end.

I have boiled over this for days. My thoughts feverishly trying to make sense of what I continue to hear over and over. As for me, I must hold to Biblical truth and stand for what has been ordained since the beginning. I am not condemning an organization, though I do not agree with their initial actions.

Here is where I take issue.

Evangelical church...what are we doing? We fuss over policy changes in an organization that helps lift people, image bearers of our God, out of poverty, yet do we consider how we spend our money? As I pictured our sponsored child's face in my head over and over, staring at his framed picture on my bookshelves, I had to ask myself,

Does my sponsorship matter if the things I'm spending my money on are going toward items made my children in forced labor?

For the one child my family sponsors - prays for, writes to, sends gifts on his behalf - am I the cause of multiple (hundreds of) children being forced to labor for wages that are not even life sustaining?  Or better yet, are they so young that they cannot even make the choice to work themselves?  These items, my shoes, my kids toys, the packaged food I purchase...am I throwing money at items for my convenience and never considering that the smallest image bearers are being trafficked in order to supply my demand?



I am furious! Church what have we become?  We fuss over policies and procedures of organizations yet our own lifestyles do not reflect Christ. From the message the Lord spoke through Jeremiah, his prophet:

This is what the Lord says: Be fair-minded and just. Do what is right! Help those who have been robbed; rescue them from their oppressors. Quit your evil deeds! Do not mistreat foreigners, orphans, and widows. Stop murdering the innocent! ~ Jeremiah 22:3

For the one child our family is able to sponsor, we are grateful.  But now it's time to turn our attention to the ones we are oppressing. It's time to END IT! We need to educate ourselves, families, friends, communities and put an end to this.  We need to live our lives by the two greatest commands given.

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  ~ Matthew 22:37-29

Join me in educating ourselves on child labor and which companies go against the cause of Christ.  You can find more information here and here.

How are you in it to end it?  What resources have you utilized to make a difference for others?

Wrecked

God is wrecking me. Wrecking. Me. The last six weeks have been one difficult conversation with The Almighty after another.  Some are continual...most are continual. And today is no different.  In His grace, God has allowed me to participate in the season of Lent leading up to Easter for the past few years. This year my wonderful husband and I are going through a YouVersion reading plan.  (I highly encourage a devotional reading plan as part of your Lenten experience.)

Over the past few weeks, I have begun to hear God gently whisper that the gifts and dreams He has given me are not for myself.  They are my position on the field of play. And today, in N.T. Wright's devotional, he says,

It's very easy for people to imagine that they can be 'religious' — they can say their prayers, they can go to church, they can read the Bible — but basically they are looking on, spectating, while God does what- ever God is going to do.

And I cringe.  My soul just wants to curl up in this ball and cry.  I've been called out of the stands...no more spectating.



I should be in the game. Focusing my attention - head and heart - on Christ, alone. 

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him. ~Matthew 4:19-20

He's called me, as prepared or unprepared as I feel at times, to follow Him.  His call isn't to be religious. But to allow Him to make something of me that I cannot make of my own accord.

Are you a spectator or on the field of play? What's keeping you from being fully in the game?

 

Hands and Feet

Everything is eerily quiet around the house. Light is pouring in from open windows and flickering candles. And my soul feels a little quieter, more at ease, than usual today.  I feel so often like I'm treading water to keep afloat through the everyday ins and outs. Between family, household responsibilities and outside obligations, I've often wondered what has happened to me.  I take on a lot more than I can carry sometimes. And my stress level tends to stay pretty high.

But today I prayed something I haven't prayed in a long time. And I heard that quiet whisper in my soul. The words I knew I needed, but often don't listen long enough, to hear.

I want to be Your hands and Your feet...but how? To whom?

To them.

I could hear the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. Laughter erupting and rushing down the hall toward me. Them. Three munchkins that run around here day after day.  Little lives that have yet to follow Christ. Personalities that are daily watching and acting what they see. And a man that needs to be reminded he's not in this alone.  One that needs to see the love of Christ being poured out in his home to his family and not just from him.

Today, less takes on a new meaning.  Instead of less clutter and stuff, it will look like less social media, less television time, less shuffling the kids off to play. Fewer outside obligations and responsibilities. It will begin to look like more stories and games, more playing cars and super heroes.  More purposeful interaction with my family. More of the love of Christ pouring out through me.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” ~Matthew 19:14 NLT

And the last thing I want to do is stop these children from coming to Jesus.

What does purposeful family interaction look like at your house? To whom are you seeking to be the hands and feet of Christ?

Lesson from Epaphras

If my ability to learn ever stops, Lord Jesus, I pray you take me home to eternity.

I've been studying through the book of Colossians with a precious small group of ladies from our church fellowship.  I can't begin to tell you how much I've needed that time in fellowship with those sweet ladies every week.  This past week was no exception.  And I'm looking forward to our last session on Tuesday night.  But I just couldn't wait to share something that I've learned this week.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Epaphras, a member of your own fellowship and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends you his greetings. He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God.  ~  Colossians 4:6,12

Epaphras was a servant of Christ and member of the fellowship in Colosse. I was moved by his earnest prayer for the church in Colosse.  His desire to see them made strong, perfect and fully confident in Christ.  And it made me wonder, what do I earnestly desire for the church, locally and globally?  Is my desire for each believer for God to make them strong, perfect and fully confident that they are following the whole will of God?  Or is my desire that I would grow and they would follow me?



As I thought about this, I referred to earlier in the text where Paul exhorts the believers to "Let your conversation be gracious and attractive". The word attractive there can, and is often, translated meaning "as though seasoned with salt." Salt can act as a tenderizer.  As believers our conversation, our words, should be full of grace and be tender.  Epaphras sought God's heart for the people of Colosse.  He sought grace and tender mercies to be bestowed on these people.


My heart semi broke when I thought about these verses.  What am I doing?  Am I seeking the heart of God for these people I live life with daily? Or am I too busy trying to look good or appear as though I know best.  I came to the realization that, as a believer, I essentially signed a non competition clause when I chose to follow Christ. I left my CEO mentality and chose the life of a servant.  I gave up one master to follow the Master.  And He alone is gracious and full of tender mercies.  He alone teaches us to look to Him and to earnestly pray for others.  I will no longer try to compete with Him for headship.  I've chosen death to self-righteousness and being self centered.  My desire is for His love and His grace to be what tenderizes my heart and fashions me to be more like Him.

 

Stained

Most of my life has been spent in the same region of this beautiful United States. Hot summers and mild winters. Churches on every street corner. A place where we sip tea from Mason jars and "bless your heart" is always a proper response. It's just a hop, skip and a jump to the mountains or the beach. A place where strangers acknowledge you when they pass you on the road. It's the place I call home.

My parents built their house about 50 feet from my dad's parents' back porch. That red brick ranch style house still stands. My dad's brothers, well, they all lived within walking distance. And when my grandmother passed, that house, beautiful and old, they buried beneath the earth and made a circle drive. I spent the best years of my life playing too close to the creek, the one I tried to float my sister down in a cardboard box. Chicken houses and cane pole fishing. Many nights spent with Brandi and Mandy. Camping in the backyard and listening to NKOTB. The world was an adventure and who cares what I was wearing. Grass stained knees and dirty shoes. The occasional bug bite and scraped elbow. Life was mine to enjoy. To live to the fullest. I can't imagine it any other way.

Now, I have three little rug rats of my own. Bare feet in the green grass. Running around in the hot summer sun, red faced and sand speckled. Not a care in the world. A plastic pool filled with water and little boys fully clothed. Sitting a top that red lawn mower, going no where and everywhere at the same time. Nap time's refreshing gives way to flying tempers and unmeant words.





I sit and watch, listen and laugh. Never fully realizing that these memories are staining my heart and changing my perspective on things. On me. These children, heavenly gifts, are moving me past self and into the very heart of Almighty God. Opening my understanding of His goodness and grace. His design, as a parent, to hold on and let go at the same time. To watch us come with stained knees and hands. To gently lifting our chin, wiping away tears and removing the stains. But not the consequences. Watching us shine in the light of The Son. Knowing this is who we are and what we were made for. Drawing us ever closer to His heart.

So this summer, I'll step back a little more and wait. Watching the wonder in the eyes of my boys. Allowing them to be drawn in to the very heart of God. Right along with me...

Ungrateful Kid

If you walk in my house at any given time of day, you probably wouldn't get much further than the front door.  Honestly, I often wonder if the stacks of boxes yet to be unpacked have regurgitated their contents on the floor, leaving me disgruntled at their appearance.  Toys litter the floor. Trucks, tractors and trains for any unsuspecting foot to find.  And that's all before you can get to the kitchen.  My children lack no good thing.  Their closets are teeming with clothes, almost to the point of overflow.  They never have to worry where their next meal will come from or if they'll be able to participate in activities most young children enjoy.  They know how to live with everything...and that's where we have our problem.

It is becoming a regular occurrence that at least twice a week our four year old son doesn't like what's for dinner.  Our policy has been that in order for him to determine whether or not he likes it, he has to eat four bites of whatever is on his plate.  He usually has his mind made up about the time we say it's time to eat as to whether or not he's going to even try it.  Dinner was no exception.  He dug in his food.  Crumbled his bread all over the table in front of him.  And even asked for more to drink because he didn't like what was on his plate.  I couldn't help but think that I'm raising ungrateful children.  Ungrateful. Really?  They show little regard for discipline and no appreciation for what they've been given.  I grieve.

Over the last few weeks, unbeknownst to our children, our family has been exposed to poverty beyond what I've seen, other than homelessness, in America.  Poverty that leaves children not knowing when or where their next meal will come from.  Poverty that leaves the disabled without the resources to feed themselves more than once a day.  Poverty that is not without joy, thankfulness, appreciation and the desire to be loved.  Poverty that wears a smile so contagious you can't help but smile in return.  Poverty held my hand and asked to help me.  Oh the first world problems I deal with daily.  They seem trivial and futile up next the eyes of a child living in poverty.  Poverty has a face that looks similar to mine, but so does hope.

As a parent, I desire for my children to have the best.  What I should desire for them is not physical, tangible things.  My desire for my boys is they experience gratefulness in the midst of almost nothing, joy in the midst of pain, love in the midst of the unlovely.  I want for them to see that what matters most in life is beyond themselves.  It goes deeper than their wants.  I desire for them to learn the secret to living in every situation.

That secret is Christ.

The Hardest Lesson Learned

With three boys under four years of age in my house, one can only imagine all the stuff, especially toys, we've accumulated. There are days I feel like I'm wading, lost in a sea of toys afraid if I take one wrong step I'll land face up thanks to some random toy with wheels. Recently, with Christmas approaching, I told our oldest son that we needed to go through all of the toys and get rid of the ones that are not played with. His face darkened and tears came to his eyes. He explained how the toys were his and how he'd play with them and that he didn't want to give any away. Gently running my hands through his red hair, I sympathized with him and told him that in order to receive any new toys for Christmas he must be willing to get rid of some of the old ones. His whole attitude and appearance changed as he realized that something better was in store.

This made me think about the story of the Rich Young Ruler. Here you had a young man who wanted to follow Christ. He was obedient to the law, making sure he was near faultless in light of it's requirements. He even asked Jesus,

“Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?”

I can see this young man's face as he listens intently to Christ's reply. His whole countenance must have fallen. Realizing that it isn't a deed that he must do but a lifestyle he must live crushed his plans. He wasn't ready to

go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Scripture tells us he went away sad. Watching my young son's response to my "command" to get rid of the clutter, I imagine sad was just the first of a flood of emotions that young man felt. So why is this such a hard lesson to learn. Not because Christ's command was hard to follow but because Christ's command called for him to lay down, completely, that which was of utmost importance and value to the young man. To destroy his own self importance and put others ahead of himself.

So, here I am. I've been injected into the middle of this story as we speak (more like as I type). What is of value to me...comfort, financial stability, self-sufficiency, following on my terms. My whole apple cart has been overturned. I realized after a personally disaster-filled day that I've been living a defeated life. The young man mentioned in Matthew 19:16-30 chose defeat over release. I'm learning that life isn't about having what I want or what I think I need, but trusting Christ to provide. His Word tells me,

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. (Isaiah 55:8 NLT)

Why should I worry? Christ himself said,

“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, (Matthew 6:28 NLT)

Following Christ cannot be on my terms. I must learn that quenching the Spirit is not an option. To follow Christ means that today (well, technically last night) what I deemed valuable I must lose sight of in order for Christ to be of utmost value and importance in my life. I'm willing to lose everything and gain nothing except for Christ. Because I am truly beginning to realize that

our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! (2 Corinthians 4:17 NLT)

This is the hardest lesson for me to learn. Are you "doing good" in order to go to heaven? What stands in your way of Christ being the single most important person/thing in your life?

Reflections

This morning my mind has been fixed on just a couple of words that a man of God spoke to Anthony and I yesterday. His words were:

don't lose hope.

We're two months into a journey we weren't sure where to begin. Leaving what was comfortable and familiar to seek our God and His plan. There is much I could say about where we are and what we're experiencing but that's not important. What is important is that every step along this path has proven Christ more faithful than the step before. He is providing for our family in ways I never dreamed. There are days I can empathize with Paul

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT)

Christ is refreshing us in His Word and in His ways. Our family has found a place we can plug in, worship and serve along side other believers. We know that for this time we've been drawn here by the Holy Spirit. We pray and wait expectantly on our God knowing that our hope is not in vain.

Hebrews 10:23

23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. (Hebrews 10:23 NLT)

Stepping out in faith isn't always easy. Some can't handle the waiting. Lord Jesus, find us faithful as we hold tightly without wavering to the hope we have in you.

The Game of Love

In preparation of our big upcoming move, we've been going through a lot of old junk deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.  I was moving some boxes to the dining room when I saw my big purple tote.  In this tote is all kinds of things, including but not limited to old journals dating back to middle school.  Yes, I would be crazy embarrassed if ANYONE ever read them, partly because I was so immature and my priorities were way out of order.  So why the title of this post? You see, without naming any names, I was "inspired" by a relationship status change from Facebook as well as seeing all my old journals from school.

I've always desired to be loved.  Wanted to be held in high esteem by one man...FOREVER.  Desired to be treated with honor and respect.  Wanted the desires of my heart to be anther's priority as well.  And no matter how many guys I went on dates with, told my deepest darkest secrets to and even shared my heart with, only ONE chose to pursue me and make me his FOREVER.  But way before that ever happened, I believed a lie.  I was told that no guy would ever want me if I didn't date.  Well, let me just tell you, even when I was a teenager, dating wasn't what it used to be!  Love is NOT a game; dating is NOT marriage.  However, way too often, we mistake dating for love.  And love IS a choice, not just an emotion - especially when it comes to marriage.  It is a choice that is made despite how one looks when then first wake up, despite their spending habits, despite their how they were raised.

So, here are a couple of ways dating needs to change, in my opinion.  For one, there must be an element of mystery, not secrets.  The other person doesn't have, or need, to know all your deepest darkest secrets.  However, there should be honesty between the two.  With dating, there should be a mutual respect but not exclusive rights.  You aren't vowing to another person to LOVE them FOREVER, that is marriage! Second, don't make dating a mini-marriage. Dating is a conditional relationship with established boundaries and a potential end.  Marriage is an unconditional relationship without boundaries that is an eternal covenant.

Here I am thinking about all the times people told me this (before I met the Love of my life!) and I let it go in one ear and out the other.  And after seeing the FB status change and all my old journals, well, I was reminded that God is love.  He does not play games with us, especially when it comes to His love for us.  He desires us to trust Him and to know Him fully.  This doesn't happen just dating God.  He requires our time and attention.  You don't fall in love and choose to stay in love over chance, random meetings with little or no communication.  It's the same in our relationship with God.  It's not like a FB relationship status.  It's not complicated, He will not divorce us, nor will He leave us single if we are desiring Him.  It drives me crazy when I ask my husband why he loves me and he answers, "Because I choose to." But honestly, he's so right.  It's the same way with God, He is Love and He chooses to love us (John 3:16).  So remember, love isn't a game...be careful what you make of it.